Ancestors

Making me think of my ancestors' ghosts,
on the edge of sleep my heart was aware,
what had gone missing was what I missed most,
would their lost hopes for me yet still be there?

The faith that I had two decades ago
that the path I was on had been chosen,
and that I had divine help here below
lives inside me somewhere, it's just frozen.

Most of my formative conversations
centered around the unknowable God,
and how to resist so many temptations
so I could receive their approving nod.

What here was just rote and what was inspired?
This end result might be what I desired.