Tuesday, April 4, 2017

4 Ways Yoga Retreats Change Lives

When my husband sent me on my first yoga retreat, I was a new mom with a baby and a toddler. My husband knew I needed a break, even if I was unsure. When he dropped me off at the airport I called his cell phone 14 times wanting to convince him to turn around and pick me back up. Since leaving my career as a lawyer after giving birth twice and recovering from a prolonged illness, all I knew was taking care of my babies. I did not want to leave them, even for a few days. He never answered his phone. I was away for five nights. The retreat changed my life in ways I could never have imagined.

I am now a yoga teacher. I taught in several different studios before finding the one that is the best fit for me. I teach weekly classes there and in a fitness center. I work one-on-one with clients in their homes or in mine. I have also taught evening yoga classes for adults through my local school district. Every so often I offer donation based classes to raise money for charitable causes. I also offer workshops on meditation and restorative yoga.

I love practicing and teaching yoga. I love meditation. I love restorative yoga. Would I have turned my love of all things yoga into a career without going on that retreat? I doubt it.

For many people, retreats seem like a luxury they can't afford, financially as well as psychologically. "How can I leave my family to do something just for myself? Why would I go someplace and hang out with total strangers? I'm not a morning person. No one should see me before 9:00 a.m. Shouldn't I spend this money on my kids, on a worthy cause or on something tangible like a new food processor?  Maybe I should set the money I would spend on this retreat aside so we can all go back to Disney for the third time next winter." These are all thoughts I've had before booking a retreat. I have only attended six in my adult lifetime. But without these retreats, the picture of my current life would be less colorful, less diverse, less nuanced, more superficial, and more mindless.

Here are five life-changing benefits of yoga and spiritual retreats:

1. Escape from Habitual Patterns. 

When we venture outside our comfort zones to experience new surroundings, a different daily schedule, new ideas, and meaningful interaction with people heretofore unknown to us, our perspective shifts! Habit loosens its hold on our thoughts and feelings. Want to see your life from a refreshingly open point of view? Break away from your habits on a retreat. “Habit enables us to cling to the familiar, to the self we think we know with a persistence almost irresistible. An anodyne for the terror of the unknown, it effectively keeps us from knowing, and is fatal in itself. Habit is a fiction the organism requires to dim perception. It screens us from the world, and from the true world of the self. Habit—no matter how intense the suffering it causes—is the last thing the personality will give up. It is arming itself against danger. The weapons may be more painful to use than the pain they seek to deflect. No matter. Habit allows us to live—by which Proust means it allows us to exist while it simultaneously compels us to miss Life.” ― Howard Moss, The Magic Lantern of Marcel Proust.

2. Rekindled Friendship with Yourself. 

We come to know ourselves primarily through two processes: a) Introspection and b) Extrospection.
Retreats are designed to facilitate both. Engaging in group activities in a low-pressure environment reintroduces us to the identities we have constructed for ourselves. We get a chance to review our foundation for relating to the world. On the flip side, the reflective, alone-time built into retreats is the pause we need to confront thoughts and feelings often lost in the shuffle of the daily grind. We rediscover our core motivations and values. Beloved and often forgotten parts of the self re-emerge. The most important new friend we make on retreat may be our long-lost childhood self, the teenage rebel risk-taker or the college idealist we left behind.

3. New Support Networks.

Individuals who commit to any particular retreat will invariably have certain key traits in common. As a bonus, the festive, relaxed environment on retreat is the perfect setting to form new friendships. I met my husband on a vacation, and some of my favorite people from around the world I keep in touch following our shared retreat. A recent Harvard research study found that the greatest predictor of a person's overall happiness is the depth and breadth of their social relationships. Bonding with likeminded people on retreat will definitely boost your happiness and give you a brand new support network!

4. Enhanced Creativity. 

Unusual events have been proven to trigger creative inspiration.  Combine them with travel, and you're on the yellow brick road to a brighter and more purposeful life.  Committing to a retreat involves risk: it may be strange and unusual. You might regret it. But then again, you just might love it. And when you go back to your usual life, you might start on that home project with renewed vigor. You might start writing that short-story you thought about and then forgot. Maybe you'll sign up for a pottery class or dust off your old sketch book. Or maybe you'll even decide to embark on a new career path that's a better fit for your personality and values. You'll never know unless you give it shot.

Do you live in the New York area or feel an urge to visit this neck of the woods? CHECK OUT this 3 night yoga retreat happening in June in a beautiful natural setting on an organic farm!

Happy travels and Namaste!

Friday, March 31, 2017

Music's Holistic Impact

As ubiquitous as music is in the lives of most people, some of us may take it for granted. Imagine being deaf, never having heard music! All sound, not just music, deeply impacts us on the physical, mental and spiritual levels. New Age followers say that music affects our vibration, the pitch and quality of our energy. I believe this to be true.

The type of music we regularly hear, by our own choice or not, undoubtedly affects our mental state. Skeptics may say, "I'm never aware of music in stores, restaurants or waiting in an office. I never notice the music in yoga class. Music has never been important to me." All this means is that the skeptics who don't notice music are not conscious of the way it affects them. So much happens on the unconscious level and the more unconscious a person is in general (mindless and on autopilot or numbed out to their senses) the less likely he/she is to notice music. If that were me, I would probably work on changing that about myself. Food for thought.

Music is central to the human experience, going all the way back to the drumming of our tribal ancestors. Research has shown that music influences our mental and emotional state, something most of us know intuitively. Multiple studies have shown that music eases depression and helps us cope with physical pain. There is a proven link between aggressive music and high anxiety. (All of the assertions in this paragraph are substantiated in the article linked within it). The saying "we are what we eat," seems applicable if changed to "we are what we listen to."

I once had an instructor who told me not to listen to Hip Hop, Dance and Heavy Metal music because it would lower my spiritual vibration, making me more open to hostile, angry feelings, harmful thoughts and poor concentration. Her remarks reminded me of mid-century Bible thumpers who bemoaned the advent of Rock Music. However, there's validity to her assertions. I wouldn't want to listen to those types of music on a daily commute, or every evening cooking dinner, for example. This would fuel road rage and burnt food.

Certain styles of music are spiritually elevating, and quite useful in spiritual practice.  I am always puzzled by the traditional Protestant hymnal music people sing from their pews on Sundays, as it seems to dull the senses and the mind, as opposed to Gospel music, operatic singing or sounds like singing bowls and chimes. I wonder about the segment of our population which finds 18th and 19th century hymns appealing. To be fair, those people probably find the kirtan devotional chants I love quite boring, as well. There are endless tastes and preferences.

Music has been shown to improve mental and physical health outcomes for a wide variety of conditions.
Popular music has been shown to reduce psychotic symptoms in mental patients.

Many elementary school teachers and special ed teachers have been using music in the classroom to calm students down and help them to focus, including my ten year old son's teacher. I noticed that she played soothing music even for the parents during the parent-teacher conferences. I'm sure some of the parents were totally unaware of this! It may have relaxed them nonetheless.

As a yoga teacher, I use a wide variety of music in classes, and on some days, I use no music. In general, focusing the attention on our breath and the subtle effects of yoga practice is best accomplished without music. There is a Sanskrit term, bhav, which refers to the emotion, sentiment and devotional direction of yoga practice; music contributes to the bhav of the class, so I like to use it. Quite often I choose peaceful, ambient music combined with yoga chants, but I will occasionally use contemporary or popular songs in class.

In refining your spiritual practice, try singing or chanting before your meditation. When I do this, my meditation experience is qualitatively different--not better or worse--but different. You can pray to music, as well. You can play music to set the intention and spiritual tone of your day, listening as you get ready or drive to work. Try being more intentional in your music selection and notice how this affects your state of mind and your energy.

Thursday, March 30, 2017

Thoughts About Fasting

Fasting is a spiritual discipline dating back thousands of years in Hinduism, Buddhism, Judaism, Christianity and Islam. Each of these traditions approaches fasting somewhat differently. Fasting for healing and purifying the body also has ancient origins in Greece, China, India and the Middle East.

Currently there is a diet trend of intermittent and full fasting, both of which are controversial from the perspective of Western Medicine (the general consensus is don't do it for very long and don't do it at all if you have certain contraindications such as pregnancy, diabetes, hypoglycemia or any chronic disease).

In this season of Lent, and following my recent trip to India where I heard religious Hindus talk about fasting, I am newly interested in fasting as a spiritual practice. It also just so happens that a friend of mine is currently enamored with the practice of fasting for weight loss, with no purpose other than to detox and shed excess weight.

I grew up in the southern part of the Midwestern United States, so fasting was something I heard of only in biblical scriptures recited in church. I did not know anyone who fasted for any reason other than a doctor's visit. The Christians and Jews I grew up around did not talk about fasting, other than at Yom Kippur. My family is Protestant so we did not even abstain from meat on Lent Fridays. We knew that Jesus fasted for 40 days and that John the Baptist fasted, but they were similar to super heroes in my childhood mind. "Don't try this at home," would describe my view of fasting for most of my life. The Christian holidays and even the religious services I experienced in my formative years featured rich food as a central element. In fact, being overweight as a Christian almost seemed to be a sort of badge of honor where I was raised (I know this is a touchy statement and I truly apologize for any offense).

Currently, in my quest to attain a higher state of consciousness, closer to Divine peace, love, equanimity and joy, I am feeling stuck at a plateau, not unlike what a person on a weight loss program experiences when those last ten pounds just won't budge. I have certain mental patterns and habitual behaviors which continue to resurface and my mind gets continually distracted away from God. Certain Christian teachers in the less mainstream Protestant strains advocate fasting and give spiritual practitioners advice on how to go about it.

Apparently I am at an ideal stage in my spiritual development to work up to full fasting. According to both popular medical advice, alternative medical advice and the advice in the web link referenced above, I should prepare myself adequately and start small. Additional Christian advice on fasting warns me to keep it a private, devotional, ego-free practice, detached from any pride or boasting.

Admittedly my spiritual disciplines come from the Yoga tradition which also holds the view that fasting is a mindful, spiritual practice and not a physical conquest, so it must be undertaken with proper understanding. The Ayurvedic and Yogic view of fasting also addresses our American culture's propensity to eat vastly more food than the body (1) needs and (2) can adequately digest, recommending periodic fasts to maintain colon health.

For the most part, I am intellectually sold on fasting, with some caveats. I am ready to try it, though I will not post much if anything about it when I do it. Why won't I share my experience? The main reason is the warning against turning fasting into some sort of physical feat or conquest. The second and equally important reason is that talk about strict diets and fasting triggers eating disorders for many people. Women and men in Western cultures suffer from many different types of eating disorders and preoccupations with physical appearance and unrealistic body image standards. One of the last things I want to do as a yoga teacher and spiritual counselor is to encourage this type of dysfunction. I have personally been affected by disordered thinking about food and body image as a teenager and young adult, and I grew up in a house with Slim Fast and diet soda (as did many people in my generation in the US!) It is only in recent years that I have fully come to accept and love my body as it is, and I would never deprive or starve my body in any way.

I believe that occasional spiritual fasting and health fasting are salubrious and edifying, after taking some time to learn about fasting through different religious and medical approaches. I am looking forward to dipping my toes into the pool of fasting this year before Lent is finished.

I wish health and happiness to all who are currently fasting and are interested in this time-honored practice!

Wednesday, March 29, 2017

Gratitude for our Elders

One of the biggest advantages of teaching daytime yoga classes is interacting with men and women a few decades older than me. Some of them are retired. Some of them are doing the work they dreamed of when they were my age. All of them have precious insight to impart and a listening ear to offer to the younger ones in the class.

It gives me a great amount of hope to hear about the lives of older yoga practitioners (I'm talking 70's and 80's). At times I even fantasize about how fulfilled I'll be in 25 or 30 years! It could be that people who attend yoga classes tend to be more positive in general; there's some solid evidence in health literature to back that up. Nonetheless, some of my older students have not always practiced yoga. In fact, a few of them came to the practice only in recent years.

My older students have active social lives with friends they've held onto over the years and with others who share their interests. They travel the world. They spend time with their kids and grandkids. They care deeply about social causes and are involved in their communities. They cook and enjoy all the best new restaurants. They have a good sense of humor and smile more than those of us who are younger.

My spouse jokes with me that he is out of the game once he hits 70. He says he sees no point in life as a septuagenarian. I don't know how serious he is when he says this, but he's been saying it for years. He turns 40 this year. I'm well into my 40's. Personally, I've been happier with each passing decade of life. I know that our health is never to be taken for granted, but if my health remains somewhat intact, I anticipate increasing happiness as I age. Brain science provides clues into  why we are naturally less anxious and stressed out as we age. I don't even need scientific proof to believe what I see most days: aging is a blessing.

I would like to emulate the older and wiser people in my life, embracing gratitude and joy at every opportunity, never giving up on life until my time runs out. Someday, I hope I'm lucky enough to see the tables turned. I'll go to yoga and cheer up my younger teachers. That'll be fun!

Tuesday, March 28, 2017

Facing our Failures

I said I would post each day of Lent (minus 4 since the Sundays don't count), but I missed a few! So that brings me to today's topic: making amends! During Lent we repent. We actively turn away from our wrongdoing. What does that mean, to actively turn away? It means we do more than contemplate our wrongdoing. We take real steps to face our brokenness and then mend what can be mended.

Some things can't ever be mended. Death is real. The wages of sin is death, says the book of Romans. Not everything can be resurrected. Christians hope and believe in everlasting life. Hindus and Buddhists believe in reincarnation. Some people believe ghosts roam the halls of old castles. No matter. Sometimes, in this life, "Zed's dead, baby. Zed's dead." Death just is. To be fair, the remainder of that verse in Romans (6:23) reads: "but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord." Not all our earthly mistakes can be unwound, though, at least not to the point of bringing what's been broken back to its former glory.

Forgive and forget. Let go. Move on. We should do all of those things. We should also take some time, at least once a year, to look deeply into our brokenness. We are all broken. Not one of us is without sin and depravity. We all fall short of perfection.

It takes courage and strength to look deeply into our own darkness. It takes humility and heart to admit where we have been wrong. But those who cannot ever do this will stagnate. They will not be able to grow. They will remain stuck in unconscious harmful patterns.

Today I decided I am not going to turn a blind to some of my worst tendencies. I am going to face them. I faced them today and it felt good. I felt warmth spread across my heart. I felt joy well up within me. I made a phone call to a person I had considered dead to me. I left a message. In the past I have sent letters. I have prayed for forgiveness for the stubbornness and ego-protection that lead to the destruction of a relationship. I do not know if the relationship can ever be repaired. Even if it cannot, I took a step today I had not been able to take in the past. For me, that is the most meaningful action I could take during Lent. I died to my pride. I would rather be rejected ten times over than to be the one who protects herself so much that no one ever has the chance to reject her. Jesus did not protect himself. He was rejected and died from those wounds. He resurrected and promised to bind the wounds of even those who rejected him. That's the kind of person Jesus calls us all to be.

Seeing my past failures and harmful tendencies is somewhat painful, but it's also very encouraging, because I am more aware each day of the thoughts and patterns which engendered those failures. When I look back at my life two years ago, five years ago, ten years ago... I see such progress and such growth. If I did not face up to my failings, I would lose out on the rewards of my journey.

Self-awareness takes work. It's not for the smug and self-satisfied. Neither is Lent. Neither is any honest spiritual path.

Saturday, March 25, 2017

Reading Devotional Poetry

Reading and writing poetry is one of my most loved spiritual practices. Just as Yoga brought me back to my devotional Christian practices, Yoga also brought me back to an appreciation of poetry I had lost studying and working in the corporate world. When I started frequenting yoga classes during my pregnancies and when my boys were small, some of the most relaxed moments of my day were at the end of yoga class listening to the teacher recite poetry aloud.

As a child I wrote poetry. As a young adult I studied literature and read a voluminous amount of poetry. In interfaith seminary poetry resurfaced again, and devotional poetry was new for me.

In formal ministry or any kind of spiritual teaching and healing work (especially thinking of yoga teachers) poetry enhances vision and understanding through lyricism. Familiar words and ideas undergo a prism effect, blooming into colorful new meaning and possibility.

Poetry flows into and out of the heart through the veil of the mind, unifying opposing energies, bringing holism to two-dimensional religious routine.

Torments of the heart have inspired many poets throughout the ages: love and longing are the raw materials of lyricism. Divine love and longing is the sublimation of carnal desire. Absorption into cosmic love is the sublimation of poetry; getting from a construct of words to a place no words can describe.

Reading devotional poetry is a spiritual practice that stands on it own, as well as cooperating seamlessly with contemplative prayer and meditation.

Mira Bai is a devotional poet from 16th century India. Her verse sings the praises of Lord Krishna.


Unbreakable, O Lord,
Is the love
That binds me to You:
Like a diamond,
It breaks the hammer that strikes it.

My heart goes into You
As the polish goes into the gold.
As the lotus lives in its water,
I live in You.

Like the bird
That gazes all night
At the passing moon,
I have lost myself dwelling in You.

O my Beloved Return.

Friday, March 24, 2017

Asteya: Thou Shalt Not Steal

Asteya is one of the five ethical guidelines which constitute Yama, one of the Eight Limbs of Yoga according to the sage Patanjali. Asteya is translated from the Sanskrit language as "non-stealing." In the studio where I teach in Ossining, NY, there is a free handout about the Eight Limbs at the checkout desk. I love this definition of Asteya from the handout:

Acknowledging that we already have enough,
and are enough,
so desiring less and 
only taking what we need
in the present moment.
Living simply. 

I also love this teaching from Lao Tzu:

The second of the Eight Limbs of Yoga is Niyama, which concern attitudes and behaviors towards ourselves. Santosha is one of the five Niyama, and is translated as "cotenment." It ties in perfectly with Asteya:

Detaching from our 
desires and cultivating
inner peace, joy and
acceptance of all that 
encompasses our life.

As we turn away from the attitudes and behaviors separating us from our true nature and from the Divine, a review of the core ethical principles from our personal traditions is necessary. The Ten Commandments tell us not to steal. The Yama and Niyama also tell us not to steal, as they hint at how we can eliminate even the desire to take something which is not ours.

We can learn to come fully into the present moment with a soft, accepting attitude. We can learn to cultivate gratitude for each moment of this fleeting life. We can learn to delve into the plenitude of present experience. Just this, here, now, in this body, with this beating heart, vulnerable and small yet vibrantly alive! We are, each one of us, a miracle. So very often, we are what we seek. We have treasure within us.

I heard this song on the way to class today, having chosen Asteya and abiding in the present moment as my theme. As I usually do, I prayed to be of benefit to whomever would come to class, and then this song by James Taylor played on the radio in my car:

                                                                    "Secret O' Life"

The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time.
Any fool can do it, there ain't nothing to it.
Nobody knows how we got to the top of the hill.
But since we're on our way down, we might as well enjoy the ride.

The secret of love is in opening up your heart.
It's okay to feel afraid, but don't let that stand in your way.
Cause anyone knows that love is the only road.
And since we're only here for a while, might as well show some style. Give us a smile.

Isn't it a lovely ride? Sliding down, gliding down,
try not to try too hard, it's just a lovely ride.

Now the thing about time is that time isn't really real.
It's just your point of view, how does it feel for you?
Einstein said he could never understand it all.
Planets spinning through space, the smile upon your face, welcome to the human race.

Some kind of lovely ride. I'll be sliding down, I'll be gliding down.
Try not to try too hard, it's just a lovely ride.
Isn't it a lovely ride? Sliding down, gliding down,
try not to try too hard, it's just a lovely ride.
The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time.