Resilience in Offspring of the Mentally Ill

My mother is a thoughtful, kindhearted and vivacious individual who carried me in her womb and nurtured me from birth to adulthood. She happens to be mentally ill. Unfortunately for her and for me, her diagnosis with severe bi-polar disorder came quite late. We suffered together for many years. She battled her illness long before I came into her life.

For the benefit of my mother, myself and others like us, I am working on a healing project. I am completing research for a book about grown children of parents with depressive disorders. A clinical psychologist is reviewing my work and guiding my process. The greatest component of my project is interviewing others like me. I have completed four interviews and have three more scheduled for this week. Additional volunteers have offered to participate in the interviewing process as it unfolds. Ideally I would like to interview 10 men and 10 women. I am interviewing individuals with both diagnosed and undiagnosed depressive parents.  Far fewer depressive conditions were diagnosed in prior generations.  Like my mother, many people suffer for years before receiving an effective diagnosis and treatment.  From our collective experiences, we can help ourselves and our peers to maintain loving relationships within the family. More importantly, we can discover and appreciate our own resilience. According to mental health experts, "the offspring of depressed parents constitute a high-risk group for psychiatric and medical problems, which begin early and continue through adulthood." (Offspring of Depressed Parents: 20 Years Later, American Journal of Psychiatry, June 2006.) I am interested in how we are doing in spite of what the best research says about us. Do we plan to beat the odds, and if so, how? What do we have to offer to those who may not fully understand depression and its casualties? How do we best approach the topic of generational healing?

The book that most closely approximates my project is, Daughters of Madness: Growing Up and Older with a Mentally Ill Mother, authored by Susan Nathiel and published by Praeger in 2007. Susan Nathiel writes, "Certain children seem to fare well in adversity, so much so that we shake our heads and wonder how in the world they came out of chaos, abuse, or neglect in one piece. Researchers originally thought that some kids were 'invulnerable' to early stress, but this has been shown not to be the case. Resilient kids, as they are called, do suffer damage from early family dysfunction. Puzzling out the 'how' of this has been the work of many researchers, and the answers still aren't complete. What we do know is that, because of some children's inborn qualities or certain factors in the environment, they're able to make strong connections with people and/or find a meaningful focus for their positive energies."

Rather than coming at resilience from a clinical angle, I am entering through a more subjective door. My approach is personal and collective. I am also attempting to balance the gender scale on this project. Daughters of Madness and several books like it address the experiences of women. I have been talking to some men and I am interested in hearing from others. It is well known that depression affects both men and women and sons suffer right along with daughters of the mentally ill. I want to bring these sons into the discussion.

If you have any interest in my project or know of someone else who might, please e-mail me at michlgh@aol.com. As mentioned above, I am specifically seeking additional men who may agree to an interview. I also need 5 more women, so any and all inquiries are welcome.

Unincorporated Montana, Anyone?

Normally my posts are uplifting.  I would rather write about the things I am for than the things I am against.  I would rather be defined by what I am than by what I am not.  Nonetheless, there are times when I want to vehemently stand apart from a movement, an ideology, or even a person.  I know this is not a good use of mental energy and it can actually set me back.  Tonight, I don't mind being set back a little.  I'm ready to go on vacation and spend a week in my bikini with my kids and my husband.  Here is some stuff than I am not:

1. I am not a Mommy Blogger or a She Blogger or a Marketer.

2. I am not a Holistic Mom.

3. I am not a Bible Christian.

4. I am not Political.

5. I am not in a Book Club.

6. I am not a Spinner.

7. I am not a Shopper.

8. I am not a Mini-Van Driver.

9. I am not trying to Attract Wealth.

10. I am not trying to Win Friends and Influence People.

There.  That just about covers it.  My husband says that if he had it to do over again he would be a Gay Poet Farmer in Unincorporated Montana.  I would actually like to do that too, except for the gay part.  I am attracted to men.  I don't think my husband is actually gay.  We just like the gay lifestyle, even though we are straight.  We support gay marriage. Montana seems like a beautiful state.  I have farming in my lineage.  I could spend my evenings writing poetry.  Our kids might turn out a little strange.  On the other hand, with their DNA they're already gonna be strange.  Maybe we'll bag New York for Montana one of these days.

This Little Prayer of Mine--A Mother's Review

         In January 2010, WaterBrook Press published Anthony DeStefano’s third book, This Little Prayer of Mine. Anthony DeStefano has a unique approach to the promotion of Christian beliefs in secular society. His first two books, A Travel Guide to Heaven and Ten Prayers God Always Says Yes To are imaginative and colorful road maps to religious topics that are often discussed yet vaguely understood. Although he uses the Bible as a guide, DeStefano interprets heaven and prayer through the lens of his own creative vision and heartfelt convictions. Unlike a religious authority haranguing from a pulpit, DeStafano is a regular husband, father and businessman who also happens to be a modern Christian mystic. He is the CEO of a Catholic not-for-profit organization and has received numerous awards from international religious organizations, including the “Defender of Israel” medal from the Jerusalem Center for Peace Studies in 2003.

        This Little Prayer of Mine is a children’s book aimed at facilitating the practice of prayer in the home from a tender age. Parents and small children can be inspired by the simple and positive message contained within 33 pages delightfully illustrated by Mark Elliott. Upon receiving my hand autographed copy in the mail, I read This Little Prayer of Mine to my 1 year old and 3 year old sons. Like many parents of toddlers, my husband and I read to our boys each night before bed. Recently we have introduced books about God, the Bible, Jesus and prayer into the usual circuit. Religious instruction at such a young age is a delicate subject in many families, especially in modern society. Many families have mixed religious backgrounds and may not attend any place of worship regularly. Parents are often concerned about introducing metaphysical concepts to little children.

        How can we expect our children to understand communication with the Divine, a spiritual realm or an afterlife when our own beliefs on these subjects exist in such a nebulous territory? My own opinion closely mirrors this quote from Bernice A. King, the daughter of Martin Luther King Jr. and Coretta Scott King: “Every day we must live in a close, trusting relationship with God, always looking to Him for comfort and direction through prayer. This Little Prayer of Mine is the springboard for helping children to establish that type of lifelong relationship with our heavenly Father.” Throughout my journey in this life, I have always had the comfort of faith in God and the confidence and ability to pray to Him. Like anyone, I cannot claim to follow a perfect spiritual path. We should beware of any human claiming total mastery or perfection. Nonetheless, the lessons I learned as a toddler about taking my cares to God in prayer have remained with me to this day. We all have our trials to endure and we know that our children will suffer as well. Suffering is part of human existence. Teaching our children to pray is among our most noble and essential tasks as parents; Anthony DeStefano offers this accessible and enjoyable tool to get us there.

        For me, the defining characteristic of this children’s guide to prayer is its emphasis on honest communication with the Creator rather than ritualistic phrases or repetitive requests. From this book, children will learn that prayer is about sharing thoughts and feelings with God, not just asking for things they may want. Most importantly, there is no need to hide fear, sadness, regret or confusion from God. This Little Prayer of Mine teaches that God loves us as we are, children and adults alike. DeStafano seems to understand that God loves the whole person, not just the idealized version of who we are supposed to be as believers. This is an advanced concept, but one that can be modeled from early childhood. I want my children to share their deepest dreams and desires with God to nurture confidence in their own abilities. It is also crucial for me that my sons learn to accept themselves in the truest sense, and I believe that open communication with God is a cornerstone to healthy self-esteem. If there is one phrase I would like them to remember, it is this one: “But when I trust in you, my God, and in your plan for me, I know there’s nothing in the world that I can’t do or be.”

Who's Your Aquarius?

“Who’s your Daddy?” is a commonplace phrase, generally asked as a rhetorical question suggesting dominance over the interlocutor. My Daddy is an Aquarius. The Sun is in the astrological sign of Aquarius from January 21 through February 19. Aquarians are known to be original, inventive, unconventional, independent, friendly and humanitarian. My father embodies each of those qualities. They are also known to be perverse and unpredictable at times. “Fanatical eccentricity” is another trait listed on the astrology-online.com profile, and I wholeheartedly agree with that one.

Growing up with an Aquarian father has been a real adventure for me, complete with ups and downs. On the whole my feelings for my father are quite warm. I have learned a great deal from his openness and intellectual curiosity. His birthday present from me is a tribute to his Aquarian voyage through life up to now.

Aquarians are known for changing directions in their open search for truth. These individuals are not afraid to venture into unknown territory, changing jobs, entering new relationships and experimenting with various schools of thought. Daddy has lived this way for the majority of his life.

CHILDHOOD

David Garrison was born February 2, 1938 in Tipton, Missouri. He worked his first summer jobs beginning at age 5 on his grandfather’s farm in Anderson, Missouri. At one time, Anderson was “the strawberry capital of the world.” Daddy spent several summers picking strawberries and grapes in the patches and vineyards of southern Missouri.

At the age of 10, he moved to a town called Clarkton in the Missouri Bootheel. There he helped his father and brothers to construct a church. Once the church was built, he picked cotton during the warm months of the year. Back then, the Bootheel was “cotton country.”

My grandparents bought a family farm in Tipton Ford, Missouri when Daddy was 12. He helped his brothers and sister to milk cows and take care of other livestock including chickens and hogs. He raised a favorite pig called “Whopper.” As he was quite fond of Whopper, he disliked the paternally imposed initiation rite of killing and slaughtering Whopper. My grandfather wanted to teach him that as a meat eater, he needed to overcome his emotional attachments to the farm animals.

My grandfather Wayne was a school principal in addition to working as a farmer. As time went on, Wayne decided to construct homes as well. When Daddy was 14 he started working with his brothers, father and grandfather laying brick, roofing and plumbing. His construction work continued for the remainder of his time in junior high and high school.

ADULTHOOD

Following high school, Daddy completed two years at Joplin Junior College. He then decided to explore his employment options in Tulsa, Oklahoma. He worked as a shoe salesman, a file clerk for a manufacturing company and a file investigator at an insurance company before deciding that a college degree would be necessary for vocational satisfaction. He enrolled for two more years at The University of Missouri-Columbia. He earned a B.S. in Education while living at home with his parents and laying brick as a part-time job.

My parents got married after college and moved back to my mother’s hometown of Joplin. Daddy’s first job out of college was selling “Baby Butler” products, safety equipment for babies such as high chairs and cribs. He got his leads from birth announcements in the local newspaper.

When my parents got up the courage to leave southwest Missouri, they both found teaching jobs in Kansas City. Daddy taught General Science and Physical Health to junior high school students. To earn extra money, he sold World Book Encyclopedias door to door in the evenings. When he was offered a traveling sales job for significantly more money he took a job with Corning Glass Works for 3 years. While still living in Kansas City, Daddy was offered another sales job with Champlin Petroleum Company, first in sales promotion and then as a District Sales Manager.

Since my maternal grandfather was also in the oil distribution business, he was able to convince Daddy to return to Joplin to work as an “oil jobber” for Champlin. When the local Mobile distributor passed away, he was offered that man’s job. He then managed 8 service stations which he converted one by one into convenience stores. At the time, convenience stores were a novelty. He turned this new business into a company called “Pronto Enterprises” and by the time I was in high school he had 25 convenience stores and 3 truck-stops. Because of a longstanding tax and accounting error, Pronto Enterprises was forced to file for Chapter 11 bankruptcy in 1987. In 1990 the company had to be liquidated. Pronto stores were no more, but a lot of folks remember them.

Daddy’s next venture was a recreational horse-riding park called “Happy Trails.” I remember brainstorming with the family to come up with that name on a long drive to the Grand Canyon. 18 saddle horses and 8 draft horses lived in the stables at Happy Trails. The stables and trails were all on the 200 acres of land where we lived in the family house. Before the official opening of Happy Trails, I helped my sisters, my stepmother and our French foreign exchange student to break in the trails with the horses. We got through a couple of minor injuries while having a lot of fun. The saddle horses were Appaloosas and Quarter Horses. The draft horses were Belgians and Percherons. Happy Trails offered wagon and trolley rides. At Halloween we had something called “Spooky Trails,” featuring horse-drawn wagon rides at night up and down wooded hills with all kinds of scary actors and macabre displays.

Daddy always loved to smoke fish, turkeys, brisket, ribs and steaks in his smoker, so in 1993 he opened Uncle Dave’s BBQ Restaurant. To this day he uses hickory wood to smoke his meats. Uncle Dave’s served a loaf of homemade bread and apple butter to every table. Of course, the restaurant served the full array of Southern style sides. I know, because I worked there for a year as a hostess and waitress. The restaurant was a tiring endeavor so Daddy sold it in 1996.

LIFE AS A SENIOR

From 1996 until the present day, David Garrison manages a fun small business called, “Paintball Ridge.” Logically, Paintball Ridge is located on the same land where Happy Trails once entertained adventurous customers. Paintball Ridge claims to be Missouri’s largest paintball park, “complete with 6 playing fields, a 2,500 square foot pro shop and a party room.” http://www.paintballridge.com/ I know how much Daddy has enjoyed working with teams of young players over the years and he still gets excited about tournaments and historical enactments.

FUN FACTS ABOUT DAVE

Most folks call my father “Dave.” Dave’s career path is certainly unconventional. Times have been tough, but he always seems to have fun with his work. I never heard him say he was bored. As a quick addendum to this chronological history, let me thrown in some final quirky details:

• Dave is on his fourth marriage, and Ying Chau (Candy) is a devoted spouse and an energetic life partner.

• Although my father attends no church at this time, in the past he has attended many churches and he started one of his own when I was in junior high school. His church was called “Praise Place”; with a name like that, you guessed right if you envisioned a full band and lots of singing.

• When I was 23 Dave invited a sect of an international religious community to take up residence on his land. These people still live there and have reconstructed a large barn into a lovely house. They also have several cabins and mobile homes on their section of the land. The group does international humanitarian work and they live communally. Members of the group rotate through their Joplin location on a regular basis, usually to receive training for various missions.

• Dave is a longtime champion of LGBT rights and spent several years actively participating in Joplin’s largest open and affirming place of worship. He used to cook and serve meals for 100+ economically disadvantaged persons every Wednesday evening at this church.

• When I was little, Daddy claimed to be an agnostic. Over the years he has changed his position and now claims a firm belief in the Divine. He shares my interest in interfaith studies and we are both learning a lot about Eastern religions and philosophy.

• Daddy’s maternal great-grandfather was a Cherokee Healer. Both his great-grandfather and his grandfather are listed on the Cherokee rolls in District No. 10. With my aunt, Daddy has made several visits to the Cherokee Nation Headquarters in Tahlequah, OK to formally document our family’s Cherokee ancestry.

• Native American Fellowship Circles have been held on my father’s land on many occasions. These ceremonies have included bonfires, drumming, smudging and singing. Among others, the following tribes have participated: Cherokee, Pottawatomie, Choctaw, Inuit and Osage.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DADDY!

Buttoned Up: Eliminate Mental Clutter

Buttoned Up, Inc. is an innovative company "whose mission is to give women the tools they need to live an organized life not a life of organization."  Four women founded the company in 2004.  At http://www.getbuttonedup.com/, you can find "free life organization tips, tools and help from organizational gurus,"  as well as a variety of useful organizational products for sale.  I consider myself lucky to have one of these gurus living in my community.  Sarah Welch was kind enough to invite me to post on the company website.  My angle on getting buttoned up is to start from the inside.  Check it out:

www.getbuttonedup.com/2010/01/eliminate-mental-clutter/

Circle of Faith

In the wake one of the greatest humanitarian disasters of our lifetimes, I was able to find some comfort last week when I attended a Native American healing circle.  Healing is not only for our bodies, but also for our minds and spirits.  This was my first experience with a healing circle.  Each participant arrived with different worries and pains.  As I discovered, the circle was a collective rendering of prayer and praise to the Creator allowing for the healing of collective and individual hurts.  An attitude of reverence and gratitude was modeled and then followed.  This created a sacred space for expression, celebration, confession and edification. 

The healing circle was held at Human Body Works in Hastings-on-Hudson, New York.  The Reverend Christan Burran, also known as Walking Deer Woman, presided over the ceremony.  Rev. Burran is an Interfaith Minister of Cherokee ancestry.  She has over 15 years of training with Native Elders in Sacred ceremony.  I was immediately interested in attending her healing circle since, 1) I am on a healing journey, 2) I have considered training as an Interfaith Minister, and 3) I also have Cherokee ancestry on both sides of my family, as do many people from my geographical home of origin. 

I felt at peace and at home during the ceremony.  In her opening words, Walking Deer Woman laid a beautiful foundation.  She spoke of grace and humility, two increasingly rare spiritual concepts.  Grace and humility have been recurring themes in my prayers, dreams and meditations over recent years.  I aspire to these qualities, so difficult to grasp or attain with consistency. 

Amazing Grace is my husband's favorite spiritual song, and it was also my grandfather's.  I was told by a yoga instructor days before the healing circle that she recites parts of Amazing Grace as a mantra.  As a girl, I was taught that we are "saved by Grace, through Faith." 

Humility is a quality even more elusive than Grace.  I believe this to be true in our times, and I surmise that it has always been true in many cultures.  Yeshua said, "And whosoever will be chief among you, let him be your servant" and "whosoever shall exalt himself shall be abased; and he that shall humble himself shall be exalted" (Matthew 20:27, 23:12).  Walking Deer Woman spoke of the high value placed on humility in Native American culture.  Who among us has not been chided for acting in a humble manner?  Humility is not associated with success in Western culture--a bold, but true claim. 

In light of the recent earthquake and ensuing after shocks in Haiti, many of us are attempting to reach out.  If we are unable to travel to Haiti, we give our material goods, financial gifts and prayers.  Prayer was central to the Native American healing circle.  We prayed together for the earthquake victims.  This helped to ease the sense of isolation everyone feels upon hearing in words or perceiving in images terror, pain and gut-wrenching devastation.  I believe in the power of prayer.  Praying alone is powerful; group prayer exponentially expands that power.  I need to pray more, especially with other people.  The Native American healing circle was just the motivation I needed to seek out community worship as a regular part of my life. 

In closing, here is a prayer from the Native American ceremony that can be used irrespective of individual faith or beliefs.  May it comfort you in times of sorrow and disruption:

Peace in my heart brings peace to my family.
Peace in my family brings peace to my community.
Peace in my community brings peace to my Nation.
Peace in my Nation brings peace to the Earth.
Let there be peace on Earth, and let it begin with me.

Living Your Yoga @ Mount Madonna Center

Judith Hanson Lasater, Ph.D., P.T., led a four day yoga retreat from January 8-12, 2010 at Mount Madonna Center in Watsonville, California.  My expression of joy and gratitude for the gift of attending this retreat is contained herein.

I.  The Encapsulated Experience

The "Living Your Yoga" retreat was based in part on Judith's book, A Year of Living Your Yoga.  Those of us who attended experienced both refuge and stimulation of the mind, body and spirit in a uniquely supportive and nourishing environment.  The expertise and insight of Judith Lasater and her gifted colleagues blended harmoniously with the enlightened mission of the Mount Madonna Center, providing an extraordinary opportunity for holistic restoration. 

II.  Personal Perspective

I came into the retreat as a relative neophyte.  My own experience with yoga consists of a decade of sporadic gym yoga classes in NYC and Paris as a younger woman, one excellent pre-natal yoga class at a reputable studio in Brooklyn, then more recently 4 months of regular attendance at Vinyasa and Hatha yoga classes at New York Sports Clubs.  Gym yoga has been a convenient option for me since I have a one-year old and a three-year old and my gym has child care options.  I have practiced at home with DVDs, yet have not had the option of premium, individualized instruction.  I chose the "Living Your Yoga" retreat based on Judith's outstanding credentials and longstanding reputation as a teacher of yoga, East/West psychology and spirituality, kinesiology and the fundamentals of health and healing.  Even through my brief experience with gym yoga, I have noticed significant improvements in my energy levels, immune system and musculoskeletal function.  When my husband offered me a personal getaway as a Christmas present, I chose a yoga retreat rather than a spa experience or a silent retreat.  I love any opportunity to travel and the natural beauty of the Santa Cruz Mountains enticed me.  I booked the retreat within a day of his kind offer.  Bless his soul for providing me with the opportunity!

III.  Judith Lasater

You can find a wealth of information on Judith's background, teachings, writings and schedule on her website, http://www.judithlasater.com/.  As quoted from one of her informational retreat cards, "Judith Hanson Lasater holds a Ph.D. in East-West psychology and is a physical therapist.  She has been teaching yoga since 1971 and is the author of eight books, including Yogabody: Anatomy, Kinesiology, and Asana."

Judith radiates an uplifting persona and energy.  She is a powerful presence.  Like many gifted women, she is brilliant yet relentlessly self-deprecating.  Personally, I relish self-deprecating humor.  For me, Judith's distinguishing characteristic was her immediate ability to penetrate the surface of a student in order to confront that student's obstacles head-on.  She possesses the spirit of a warrior in a female body, with the acquired ability to harness her razor sharp insight so that it edifies rather than cripples her students.  For example, after Judith adjusted me in a particular asana and I thanked her for showing me the "correct" asana, she informed me that she doesn't like to use words such as "correct" because of the implication that someone else is "incorrect" or wrong.  Judith managed to work this little piece of wisdom into the group instruction, while looking right at me: "You know how we bomb people with our minds?  Do you ever do that?  You can be driving along and someone cuts you off, and you bomb that person with your mind."  I understood her message this way; believing firmly that we are right about something can cause violent thoughts, actions and words to arise.  Bombing people with my mind is undoubtedly my greatest fault.  Did I just write "undoubtedly?"  Oh well.  Thank you, Judith. 

As I told Carol Banquer, one of Judith's longtime friends I happened to meet in the hot tub one afternoon, Judith has managed to balance 1) high level analytical reasoning and 2) intuitive knowledge that originates from the heart.  This is a rare and precious quality.  I aspire to attain it one day.  Carol told me, "she has a few years on you." 

True power calls for equilibrium between authority and deference, with a slight penchant for authority. Having navigated years of motherhood, marriage and professional achievement with a high degree of success, Judith has earned true power. 

IV. Program Messages

A significant portion of Judith's teaching focused on anatomy and kinesiology.  A good number of nurses, physical therapists and yoga teachers attended the retreat for continuing education.  Since my academic background is in literature and law, the anatomy lectures caused my eyes to glaze over a bit.  However, I do remember the term, "acetabulum" and I will try to adjust myself to maximize the fit between convexity and concavity.  I truly wish that my athletic DPT sister-in-law could have teleported into these lectures. 

In addition to teaching active and restorative asanas, the remainder of Judith's instruction focused on spiritual and psychological principles that help us to reach a place of peace and self-love, or as Judith would say, "positive unconditional self regard."  I will list a few of her quotes and insights.  First of all, our mantra at the beginning of each class was, "Yoga citta vrtti nirodah," which translates as "Yoga is the resolution of the agitations of the mind."  One quote she gave us originated from another spiritual teacher, Yvonne Rand, a Soto Zen priest: "Does what I'm about to do take care of myself?"  I found that one to be particularly helpful.  To assist us in the arena of our relationships, Judith advised us thus: "Translate everything everyone says to you as "please" or "thank you."  As Thich Nhat Hanh would say, "how wonderful" if we could manage to do this.  Along these same lines, Judith gave us an enlightened elaboration of this sound bit of counsel: "Stop giving advice."  Don't you just love the irony of advising people to stop giving advice?  I do love the irony, and I definitely need to stop giving advice.  On a very healthy and practical note, Judith challenged us to go to bed 30 minutes earlier each night to address the huge problem of sleep deprivation in our culture.  My favorite original quote that Judith imparted to us was, "how human of me!"  As I have been told in the past by lay Buddhist instructors, we would be wise to accept all of our thoughts, feelings and actions as they arise rather than entering into a negative cycle of judgment.  Inevitably, we are going to experience thoughts, perform actions and speak words that later disappoint us.  Not one of us is perfect.  Since I have been saying, "how human of me," I am feeling much better about myself. 

V. Mount Madonna Center

The Mount Madonna Center is an integrated creative and spiritual community covering 355 acres of the Santa Cruz Mountains between Gilroy and Watsonville, California.  The community is inspired by Baba Hari Dass and sponsored by the Hanuman Fellowship.  For detailed information and photos, please visit the website at http://www.mountmadonna.org/. 

Baba Hari Dass is a monk and master yogi who has lived in the United States since 1971.  He was born in 1923 near Almora, India in the state of Uttarakhand which borders Tibet on the north and Nepal on the east.  He was classically trained in the traditions of Ashtanga Yoga and has maintained a vow of silence since 1952.  According to some of the community members I met during the retreat at the center, he began his spiritual quest at the age of six.  Baba Hari Dass is more commonly known to the Mount Madonna community members as "Baba-ji."  He communicates with a chalkboard.  He has authored many books himself, and he agreed to mentor a pregnant student, Jeannine Parvati, so that she could continue practicing asanas in spite of the traditional male yogic proscriptions against it.  As a result, the first book in the Western world on prenatal yoga was published in 1974, Prenatal Yoga and Natural Childbirth.  Baba-ji is now living at the Mount Madonna Center and presides over philosophy classes there.  I was told that if I approached him for a mantra, I may have the opportunity to receive one the following day.  Unfortunately I did not get the chance to see Baba-ji during the retreat, and honestly I am probably not spiritually developed enough to have fully appreciated his presence.  Perhaps I will see him some day in the future and have the honor of asking him for a mantra. 

The founding principle of the Mount Madonna Center is selfless service, hence all of the community members cooperate, volunteering their individual efforts and time to foster an effective environment for yogic practice, spiritual development, ecological preservation, education and hospitality.  I noticed many single community members earning certification to teach yoga, massage or a Master's degree in Ayurvedic medicine.  Additionally, I saw families with children living in the community and noticed that there was a school for kindergarten through high school aged children.  Every community member I met spoke to me readily about his or her own experience and answered my questions about the community's shared values.  I felt very welcome and safe during my stay. 

Three notable highlights of the visit were the Kaya Kalpa Wellness Center, the Sankat Mochan Hanuman Temple and the Oaks Cabins. 

The Kaya Kalpa Wellness Center provides high quality holistic health, massage and body treatments based on Ayurvedic medicinal principles.  I received an Abhyanga massage with a Marma point face add-on.  My treatment lasted nearly two hours and was exceptionally balancing and therapeutic.  As I learned, Ayurvedic massage uses a large quantity of oil, but in spite of the amount of product used, the extensive experience of the therapist and the duration of the treatment, I was charged the customary price of a one hour Swedish massage with an add-on in the New York area (where I currently live).  This is a definite incentive to return! 

The Sankat Mochan Hanuman Temple is a sacred place of worship used primarily by the residents of the community and many Hindu visitors, although it is open to the public.  As the name implies, the temple is dedicated to Hanuman, a Hindu deity.  Hanuman is sometimes referred to as The Monkey God.  I was told that his primary quality is selfless service, as reflected in the values of the Mount Madonna Center.  As a visitor, I was invited to attend two daily services, one at 6:30 a.m. and the other at 6:00 p.m.  I attended three of the evening services.  These were joyful experiences of praise and worship of the Divine, complete with various musical instruments and beautiful bells hanging at multiple points across the entrance, perimeter and covering of the open air temple.  I especially enjoyed ringing the bells.  I also sang, or attempted to sing songs of praise which had been thoughtfully written out in the English alphabet with various accent marks to assist in pronunciation.  I was invigorated and inspired by these rhythmic chants, which I believe were the Hanuman Arati.  I plan to buy a CD containing the Hanuman Arati and the Hanuman Chalisa.  At the end of the service, everyone was invited to receive the tilak forehead mark and to partake of the Prasad, which consisted of sweet foods placed into the hands to be immediately consumed.  We were then invited to partake of blessed fruit from a large basket.  I interpreted this as receiving the bounty provided for us by the Divine following our material offerings along with our offerings of prayer and worship.  I loved the beauty and simplicity of the service and appreciated being allowed into a Hanuman temple as a woman since this is apparently forbidden in traditional Hindu practice. 

The Oaks Cabins are one of the lodging options for visitors to Mount Madonna Center.  Rather than sleeping in a dormitory with an indoor kitchen and plumbing, I chose a single cabin.  I was very pleased with this choice.  My cabin had hardwood floors and a lovely wood vaulted ceiling.  It contained two firm single beds with comfortable bed linens.  The cabin had indoor and outdoor lighting along with baseboard heating controlled by a thermostat.  There was a shared bath house within short walking distance of the cabins complete with very clean toilets, sinks, showers and herbal bath products.  Since I enjoy camping, this was more than comfortable for me.  I saw deer walking around my cabin daily and enjoyed hiking up and down the trail leading to and from the central buildings.  In my opinion, even a non-camper would enjoy the Oaks Cabins. 

Anyone can visit the Mount Madonna Center for a personal or family retreat and I highly recommend it. 

VI.  Attendees

In my final section, I would like to thank not only Judith Lasater, her assisting teachers and the members of the Mount Madonna Center, but also everyone else who participated in the retreat with me.  I met some extraordinarily bright, open and entertaining people.  I will list a few of them along with their professional web links. 

• Michele Sahm, of Healthy Styles Inc. 

Michele is a beautiful, energetic mother, wife and business woman I met at the first retreat dinner.  I will not tell her age, but I would have never guessed that she was older than I am!  She is the National Marketing Director for JuicePlus+ and her website is http://www.healthystyles.org/.  Michele was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis as a young woman, and it was through her child's pediatrician that she discovered the natural alternative health products she now sells.  She was fortunate enough to have Dr. William Sears as her family pediatrician.  As many of you know, Dr. Sears, along with his two pediatrician sons, are brilliant innovators in pediatric medicine and William Sears a.k.a. Dr. Bill founded the now widely popular philosophy of Attachment Parenting.  When Dr. Sears recommended JuicePlus+ products to Michele, she was hooked and has been taking them ever since to treat her RA.  In addition, she is savvy about nutrition and like me, she practices Vinyasa yoga as one of several yogic practices.  Her new vision is to open her own studio after getting certified to teach yoga.  To watch her practice the asanas, one would already believe her to be a teacher.  What amazes me is that she has achieved this level of physical health and balance after many years of living with RA. 

• Sonja Bjelland, Editor/Founder of Blisspassport.com

Sonja's new website, http://www.blisspassport.com/ is a brand spanking new enterprise dedicated to guiding seekers of yoga, spa and wellness retreats to the perfect getaway.  Her business card reads, "Find Your Escape."  Sonja attended my undergraduate alma mater for journalism school: The University of Missouri-Columbia (Mizzou-Rah!)  Now that is one elite J-School.  Ever heard of the Mizzou-Mafia?  If not, ask around the industry.  Ms. Bjelland is currently taking time out of the journalism world to start up her new site.  I love her vision, so I plan to do some East Coast volunteer research for her since she currently resides in SoCal. 

• Judy McNeely, co-founder of Collegepathfinders.com

Judy co-founded a web business with her husband Dennis assisting prospective college students to connect with their unique gifts, talents and desires, ultimately leading them to a good college and a well-suited career path.  I immediately connected with Judy since she was wearing a tee-shirt that read, "Comment vous sentez- vous aujourd'hui?"  We began conversing in French and I discovered that Judy was formerly a French teacher...like me!  We got some stares, but that was fine with us.  Judy started up collegepathfinders.com following her retirement from teaching.  She said some flattering and uplifting words to me that I will not forget.  I told her that in my opinion her spiritual gift is the edification of others.  Everyone can see her open heart in her smile, and I would have loved the benefit of her guidance when I made my first choice of vocation.  She revealed her vision for me: teaching law and French in high school!  I have worked as a lawyer and taught French in college, yet her idea is a better fit for me as a mother.  In spite of Judy's suggestion, writing is the next career that I plan to manifest.  An example of Judy's ever-young spirit: we shared the comical and exhilarating experience of hiking in a dense fog in the dark with one small LED flashlight.  Her comment to me the next day was, "Last night was a blast!"  I told her how I loved "night hiking" back in high school. 

In parting, I cannot fail to mention Kirsten Ferries, a soulful and kind non-profit professional and volunteer, who also happens to be a mother and wife...AND... the endlessly entertaining Mr. Kam Mofid, the film buff, engineer and former executive who never failed to work a movie line into any conversation.  Thanks to Kam, I learned a bit about Zoroastrianism and Iranian culture as well as green technology and off-the-beaten-path travel ideas.  One of the high points of my retreat was a pre-breakfast hike with Kirsten and Kam to a nearby Buddhist monastery. 

I hope to see some or all of my new retreat friends again, and I will think fondly of them as I recover from what Judith Lasater calls "retreat syndrome."  Clearly, if you are looking for an excellent yoga workshop, seek out Judith Lasater, Mount Madonna, or both!  If you do find a good retreat, make sure you tell Sonja Bjelland about it: skbjelland@gmail.com.

Signing off as a California dreamer planted here in New York,

Namaste,

Michelle Garrison Hough

P.S., please enjoy the following photos of Judith, her assistants, classroom instruction and some gorgeous views from Mount Madonna: