The Value of Religious Affiliation

I made the decision to have my 2 and 3 year old sons baptized at the church where I was christened as a baby. We had the opportunity to celebrate their baptism this past Sunday on a week-long visit to my hometown. Since we do not have a church of our own, my husband and I were grateful for the support of my mother’s Lutheran church community.

When my father asked me why I chose to baptize my children, I began to articulate my individual beliefs. I do not belong to a church and my spiritual practices are in no way institutionalized. This is true for the majority of Americans and applies particularly to my generation. Nonetheless, most parents I know have held some sort of religious ceremony for their infants or young children. In March, I attended a bris for the first time. My twin nephews were recently baptized. Following these events, I thought more seriously about planning a baptism for my own sons.

My father is adamantly opposed to organized religion. I have many friends and acquaintances who agree with him. Religion can be divisive and exclusionary. Fundamentalist religious practices have caused great harm to humanity by spreading fear, hatred and violence. Christianity in particular is associated with intolerance, war and genocide. My Dad wanted to know how it was possible for me to baptize my children into a church that continues to ostracize homosexuals and includes teachings about Hell in its liturgy. Since I had already given it some thought, my answers to his questions came easily.

Institutions are created by and for humans. Human behavior does not follow simple patterns. No person is all good or all bad. Pitting good vs. evil is convenient, but simplistic. I find it impossible to separate institutions from the people that created them. I have yet to see one political, religious or social movement that does no harm. I made a common argument to my father; Christian institutions have acted both beneficially and destructively over history. He replied that I might say the same thing about the Nazis. For obvious reasons, I disagree. I continue to believe that our relationships with institutions are much like our relationships with individuals: we take what good we can from them, attempt to exist peacefully with them and support or oppose them according to our conscience. One iron-clad approach does not fit all. I do not fully condone or contest any person or any group.

I do not oppose any religion. I understand the energy of opposition. Formerly I worked in the law and will likely re-enter the practice in the future. I know how to entrench myself in a cause. Lawyers argue one side of an issue irrespective of their personal beliefs. In litigation and transactional practice, the law requires adherence to one side. Many people who are not lawyers live life in that way, supporting Y and opposing X, an approach that I find myopic. Resistance requires force and the outcome often disappoints. Hence, I try to spend less time resisting and more time cooperating.

Religious rites are acts of tribal affiliation. This is particularly evident in marriage and baptism rituals. Humans find comfort in belonging. We commemorate our belonging to a larger group through adherence to cultural rites. Our spiritual inclinations are organized into religious systems. When we affiliate with a religion, we affirm our belonging to a tribe. Christianity historically united a large number of tribes under one banner. Human tribes go to war with one another; they also create favorable alliances. If we evolve in another direction and tribal loyalties become obsolete, religion may one day disappear. The importance of religion in modern Western society is diminishing, but in many parts of the world religion continues to dominate thought and behavior. Even in our part of the world, most every person interacts with a religious institution on some level. It takes effort to avoid all weddings, funerals, and any other events with a presiding religious official. Religion has an impact on our lives, irrespective of what we believe.

Choosing to baptize a child is a clear and direct action in support of Christianity. When I chose to have my sons baptized in the same church and by the pastor who baptized me, I affirmed my ancestry. I affirmed my cultural heritage. I affirmed a church community. I also affirmed a part of who I am and what I believe. While I do not endorse every belief and practice of the Lutheran church, I cannot dismiss it as the initial source of my religious education. I am very grateful for the education I received and for the love and support that was shown to me as a child in the church where I was confirmed and had my first communion. I will not dismiss the value of affiliation in the nurturance of a child. It is important to belong; this is an undeniable human need. Religious rituals for children are intended to be sweet and memorable occasions, and for our family, this intent was preserved.

In preparation for my sons’ baptism, I promised the two presiding pastors that I would educate my sons in the Christian tradition. Indeed, I intend for my children to learn about the Old and New Testaments of the Bible. In addition to the Hebrew and Christian Bibles, I intend for them to study the texts of all spiritual traditions. As they get older, I would like to be able to talk about the Bhagavad Gita, the Koran, the Tao Teh Ching, the Yoga Sutras, the Vedas, the Upanishads and any other texts that we can discover together. I will teach them not to hate, exclude or discriminate. I will attempt to raise them in an open and affirming tradition. As a family, we will honor the divine within ourselves through respecting these outward expressions of divinity. At the same time, my sons will benefit from the context of a particular familial and cultural tradition.

The Nanny

"When I am a mother, I am never going to do what she does."  Words like those always come back to haunt you.  Opinions I had as a twenty-two year old nanny in Paris have changed now that I am a mom. 

There are some similarities between me and the mother of the two boys I nannied as a graduate student.  I remember greatly admiring my boss.  She was a beautiful Parisian fashion designer who worked for a famous department store.  Her husband was a sculptor and film set designer who traveled the world for his job.  They were the epitome of cool.  I was happy to find out that she had her kids in her mid-thirties.  That was my plan, too.  She had two boys close in age.  That's not something you can plan, but eventually so did I.

I now find that my critiques of the hip parents I worked for are behaviors I am repeating.  I used to wonder why these working parents wanted me to come take their kids out of the house on Saturdays.  My boss told me she needed some time alone to sleep in and do yoga.  I admittedly thought this was selfish and that she should want to be with her sons on both of her days off.  I don't work full time, but I do find myself using childcare hours to do yoga.  What was it she loved so much about yoga that would take her away from her children?  Now I know.  Now I am "that mom." 

Sleep is never fully appreciated until yours is constantly interrupted or you are forced to awaken at the crack of dawn every single morning.  In my life, there is no sleeping in unless my husband is kind enough to get up with the kids and take them out for breakfast.  I try to do the same for him on occasion.  When I worked for the hip Parisians, the father was frequently traveling for work so this was not an option for my boss.  Of course she wanted me to come early on Saturdays and let her get some rest.  I am now incredulous that I ever questioned this routine.  It was her life saver!

As I served dinner to two small boys who clamored for their "Maman," I wondered why she didn't make it home for dinner more often.  After all, weren't families supposed to be together for the evening meal?  Now I see that most working moms are lucky to have dinner with their children and the dads have this option only on weekends.  Moreover, a quiet dinner without children is the ultimate luxury for my husband and me.  While we are unusual in that we feed our boys dinner most nights, we know that we are in the minority in New York, and probably most metropolitan areas. 

I was always stunned at the frequency of her childrens' illnesses.  Could they possibly be sick again? I hoped I would not catch their viruses... or head lice.  Unfortunately, I couldn't escape the lice and had nightmares about this for a full 10 years.  Now when my own kids get sick every six weeks, it is a small hiccup.  We have nearly every remedy on hand.  I call our pediatrician more than my friends.  Luckily, I never worry about catching things anymore--an attitude I share with the pediatrician!

"These boys have no discipline!" This was my thinking as I carried kicking and screaming children from the playground when it was time to leave.  Now, I have learned to trick my sons with elaborate bribery so they will leave the park without a fuss.  If we are having an off day, we get sympathetic stares as red faced, dirt covered toddlers are whisked away in a fit of angst.  Oh how the mighty have fallen!

"Judge not lest ye be judged."  Yes, Jesus, I hear you.  And I am thankful.  I am thankful that in so many ways my life resembles that of the boss I once so carelessly judged.  She was the proud mama of two happy, rambunctious boys and now I am, too. She was unapologetic about needing her own time and space, and so am I.  She loved her kids and she knew how to love herself, too.  More than her sophisticated style, this earned her my admiration. 

Efficient, not Cool: Yoga and Me

Today my Sunday yoga instructor opened her class with a brief discussion of this article in the New York Times: http://www.nytimes.com/2010/04/25/fashion/25yoga.html?

The article is entitled "A Yoga Manifesto."  Apparently the spirituality of yoga is becoming more chic and pricey.  The instructors are turning into high profile "rock stars" with attitudes.  Students are paying $125 per month for memberships to reputable studios.  A really good mat can set you back $100.  There are designer lines of yoga wear.  I have seen these phenomena and the article is good reporting.  Of course, these elements exist in the yoga climate.  Nonetheless, I am oblivious to the "cool" aspects of yoga. 

Here is why I do yoga: I don't have time to do cardio, lift weights and go to church regularly.  I feel like yoga gives me more bang for my buck and greater satisfaction for time spent.  Yoga does have a spiritual aspect, even if people hate the word "spiritual."  If letting go of everyday preoccupations and quieting your mind so that you can balance for longer in eagle pose does not appear spiritual on the surface, then ask yourself if reciting a liturgy while thinking about your grocery list is spiritual.  Is it?  What the hell is spirituality, anyway?  I have nothing against going to churches, temples or making a pilgrimage to mecca.  I think those are all commendable uses of time.  Personally, with my two toddlers, I'm not going.  I'll take a rain check. 

I hear people tell me they don't like yoga because they need to run on the treadmill and lift weights after class just to get a good workout.  For other people, this may be true.  Personally, I get physically spent enough in a good yoga class that I don't need extra cardio and weight training.  When I used to work out in the traditional gym fashion, I spent twice the amount of time at the gym as I do now in yoga classes.  After thirty minutes of cardio I would go to the machines and do repetitions.  I never lasted long in this routine because I find cardio machines and weights incredibly boring.  In addition, I never got the muscle definition and postural benefits that I see now. 

Another thing I keep hearing about yoga is that it has become a sort of bandwagon for middle aged women.  Now this I can see.  I am approaching middle age, at 38.  I can't imagine that I would be anyone's definition of cool, living in the suburbs with my two kids and my crossover SUV.  I don't have any celebrity contacts.  I don't frequent trendy restaurants.  I never see live theater anymore.  I barely get a chance to see a movie (note that I don't call it a film).  I do yoga to maintain physical, mental and yes, spiritual balance, without circuit training at the gym or attending Bible studies.  I find yoga to be an efficient use of my time. 

Does it work?  Absolutely.  When I started yoga I didn't expect to drop to a size 4 without dieting 22 months after the birth of my second child.  I didn't know that my sleeping patterns would become almost as predictable as those of my children.  I didn't plan on synchronizing my meditation practice with a physical routine.  I never saw myself as a spiritual chanting type, but now I truly enjoy maintaining a steady "om" in the right key.  I feel reconnected to my childhood roots in dance class, music lessons and church.  I really do.  As far as I can remember, those things were never trendy. 

Acceptance of Dis-ease

What is your first thought when you or a loved one gets sick? How do you feel about illness? Take a moment and answer that question for yourself. Then ask yourself how you feel about your body right now. Are you aware of it? Are you indifferent, pleased, concerned or annoyed? Do you accept your body as it is? There are no incorrect answers. These questions are subjective and individual.


Many spiritual teachers and alternative healers tell us that we create the conditions in our body with our thoughts. Do you agree with this, and if so, to what extent?

I recently watched a recorded speech given by Eckhart Tolle. He spoke about the death of human bodies. He said “bodies dissolve.” He did not limit talk of death to the elderly, but he did mention that as we get older we start to look around and notice more and more bodies dissolving. I liked the terms he used to speak of illness and death. I listen to Eckhart because he is accepting of the human condition and he radiates compassion.

I like my body. I accept it. I take care of it by eating well, avoiding most toxins and exercising regularly.

I do not consciously fear death. In the past I was afraid of illness. My attitude with respect to illness has changed dramatically in recent years. I was fortunate enough to be extremely healthy for 34 years. To this day, I consider myself healthy.

At the age of 35, I was diagnosed with Lyme disease. My diagnosis came months after I contracted Lyme. Initially I experienced a painful nerve injury which paralyzed the left side of my face. I partially recovered from this injury. I also experienced back and neck pain, insomnia, fatigue, mental fog and a heart arrhythmia with a partial block. After a month of treatment with antibiotics, most of those symptoms subsided. I forgot about Lyme for the most part.

In recent weeks I am experiencing some of my initial symptoms again. I am looking into Lyme disease recurrence or what some people call “chronic Lyme.” I am not sure if it applies to me or if my symptoms can be explained by something else. I am amazed once again by how great I felt before the Lyme and also after receiving the antibiotic treatment. I don’t even feel all that bad now. I doubt that the Lyme and the ensuing symptoms are the result of my thoughts. I am not saying this is impossible. I simply doubt the theory.

Illness can be psychosomatic. Illnesses are often brought on by stress. Negative thinking patterns are certainly unhealthy. At the same time, all of us experience illness. We show love to ourselves and others by responding to illness with compassion. As we progress spiritually, we learn to accept phenomena rather than resisting. I love acceptance and what it can do for me. I feel better when I accept temporary and even permanent discomfort rather than resisting with my will, my feelings and my thoughts. I don’t like the dualistic view that puts illness and death at odds with wellness and life.

Most likely you have heard of or read Louise Hay. She is a revolutionary healer, teacher and writer. Metaphysicians, alternative healers and holistic minded people everywhere respect her work. She has authored multiple best sellers. In her books, You Can Heal Your Body and You Can Heal Your Life, she has a fairly comprehensive List of physical ailments followed by their probable mental causes and recommended affirmations for overcoming the ailments. Like many alternative healers, she refers to illness as “dis-ease,” a condition that disrupts the natural state of ease. She does not have a cause listed for Lyme dis-ease, but she does address malaria, a related illness. The probable cause of malaria in Hay’s List is, “Out of balance with nature and with life.” On an unrelated note, her listed probable cause for fistula is, “Fear. A blockage in the letting-go process.” If you have not heard of fistula, you may want to google it. I donate to a wonderful charity for this dis-ease: http://www.fightfistula.org/

The term “dis-ease” calls to mind the Four Noble Truths of Dukkha in Buddhist teachings. The philosophical meaning of dukkha is analogous to “disquietude,” as in the condition of being disturbed. The term is usually translated as suffering. Here is a definition from Dhammacakkappavattana Sutta: Setting the Wheel of Dharma in Motion: “Now this, monks, is the Noble Truth of dukkha: Birth is dukkha, aging is dukkha, death is dukkha; sorrow, lamentation, pain, grief, & despair are dukkha; association with the unbeloved is dukkha; separation from the loved is dukkha; not getting what is wanted is dukkha. In short, the five clinging-aggregates are dukkha.”

My approach to overcoming disquietude of any form is to accept it and find peace through meditation, prayer, yoga and other spiritual practices. I also try to pinpoint any thoughts that may contribute to disquietude, but I don’t have a set of affirmations or a plan to combat bodily discomfort through changing my thoughts. I accept some of my negative thoughts and feelings. I don’t particularly like dualism so I try not to spend too much time parsing out the good and bad in my mind. I feel that this could lead to obsessive thoughts and behaviors. I like the idea of letting go of thoughts, even if I am rarely able to do so.

I accept dis-ease as part of life. I am grateful for the opportunity that illness provides to care for myself and my loved ones with more love and diligence.

Unity Through Yoga

A group of apparently disconnected bodies moves through a space together for a short time.  When the time is over, the bodies chant the sound of "om" and then bow to one another saying, "namaste."  There is now a discernable connection.  This connection is healing and it feels like peace, power and unity. 

My favorite translation of "namaste" is this: May the light in me respect and reflect the light in you.  My teacher Sinda says this at the close of her classes.  This weekend I attended a class taught by Freddie Wyndham.  When he said "namaste," he also said "shalom."  I was very touched by this.  With Passover and Easter on the horizon, he wished each of us a happy celebration according to our individual faith.  I was inspired by his ability to unite a random group of people with a single purpose: Love.  He reminded us that Love is at the core of our being and Love is our true identity.  I experienced Love during his class. 

Not coincidentally, I have been speaking with a lot of my peers lately about their chosen stress relievers and paths to wholeness.  I am researching a book on grown children of the mentally ill.  Many of us do yoga.  Two people I have interviewed did yoga every day for a month as part of a grieving process.  One woman said that the experience of moving through the asanas in a room with a group of other bodies made her a little stronger each day after losing one of her parents.  Everyone I have spoken with who does yoga regularly benefits from the unity of the practice. 

There is so much divisiveness in our society.  We have red states and blue states.  We have pro-choice and anti-abortion individuals.  We have racial tension.  We have religious differences.  We have economic and social divides.  We have working mothers and stay-at-home mothers, and a new group called "hybrid moms."  We have vegetarians, vegans, meat eaters and people who love fast food.  We have home schoolers, magnet schoolers, Montessori schools and Catholic schools.  We have a news media that is constantly trying to smack labels on people.  It is a wonder that we manage to connect at all. 

Our ability to connect and share Love with others is a miracle.   It is the greatest miracle of humanity.  I wish to focus on this miracle rather than spend my time thinking about all of the issues that divide us.  I experience this miracle through yoga.  I have also experienced this miracle through music. 

How do you experience the miracle of connection with those who are "different" from you?  Do you believe in differences or do you believe in unity?  Do you believe in Love?

Alcohol and the Mind/Body/Spirit Connection

It is common knowledge that the world's major religions do not condone drunkenness.  Nonetheless, the abuse of alcohol continues to thrive in many cultures worldwide, particularly in wealthier nations.  Many people who claim to be, or who indeed are religious or spiritual continue to drink alcohol.  Until recently, I was certainly one of those people. 

For most of my life I was able to tolerate moderately high alcohol consumption.  I started drinking in high school and hadn't really stopped recreational drinking until recently.  I was never abusing alcohol to the point of addiction or damage to my health, but I was a regular social drinker.  When I first met my husband, we spent a great deal of time in bars together.  Most of our family members drink or used to drink recreationally.  In the past, splitting a bottle of wine with my husband at dinner was normal behavior for me, even after having children.  This is no longer true.  Why?  My body simply cannot tolerate more than one glass of wine or beer, and on a rare occasion, one cocktail.  After analyzing this physiological change, I have concluded that my new intolerance of alcohol results from the mind-body-spirit connection. 

As an adolescent and young adult, I was always interested in spirituality but had never undertaken a true spiritual path.  As a working adult and then a new parent, I was more focused on getting through what I perceived to be day-to-day life; spiritual seeking wasn't a real priority for me.  I prayed, but I had no regular spiritual practice. 

Since January of 2009, I have been regularly practicing Buddhist meditation, reading a daily Bible scripture, reading other favorite religious texts such as the Bhagavad Gita and praying daily.  Since September of 2009 I have been regularly practicing yoga 3 to 4 times per week.  Gradually over the past 15 months I have noticed some dramatic changes in not only my thinking and my emotions, but also in my body.  Foremost among these physical changes is my aversion to alcoholic beverages. I still enjoy the taste of wine, but I have to be vigilant about limiting my intake of it or I suffer from crippling physical fallout.  Three glasses of wine at dinner will knock me out physically for the majority of the following day.  I do not attribute this change to aging, because my older relatives and friends can drink me under the table.  I am fairly certain that my body is being transformed in conjunction with my mind and spirit.  Had I heard someone tell me this two years ago, I would have been skeptical.  Now, I understand how spiritual and mental contentment are not compatible with intoxication.  I understand this not only on an intellectual level, but on a basic physical level.  This is a true breakthrough for me. 

In the interviews I am conducting for my book on grown children of severely depressed or mood disordered parents, alcoholism is a constant theme.  I had not expected this.  I am over half way through my interviews, and almost every person I have spoken with has either battled with alcoholism or had an alcoholic parent.  When I was younger a psychologist warned me that I have alcoholic tendencies.  There is certainly a connection between depression and self-medication with alcohol.  I am extremely grateful be to learning about this connection in-depth.  This lesson coincides beautifully with my own progress in this area. 

I would like to leave you with some spiritual teachings on intoxication from three different belief systems: Buddhist, Christian and Yogic.  When I read these words now, they have an entirely different meaning for me than they did when I first encountered them.  May you be richly blessed in your mind, body and soul. 

"Aware of the suffering caused by unmindful consumption, I vow to cultivate good health, both physical
and mental, for myself, my family, and my society by practicing mindful eating, drinking, and consuming.
I vow to ingest only items that preserve peace, well-being and joy in my body, in my consciousness, and
in the collective body and consciousness of my family and society. I am determined not to use alcohol
or any other intoxicants, or to ingest foods or other items that contain toxins, such as certain T.V.
programs, magazines, books, films and conversations. I am aware that to damage my body and my
consciousness with these poisons is to betray my ancestors, my parents, my society, and future
generations. I will work to transform violence, fear, anger, and confusion by practicing a diet for myself
and for society. I understand that a proper diet is crucial for self-transformation, and for the
transformation of society." (The Five Wonderful Precepts, by Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh.)
 
"And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit."  (Ephesians 5:18)
 
"Yogis do not touch alcohol, since they consider it to lower the vibrations of their subtle body (astral body). This defeats the purpose of yoga, which is to increase the vibrational level so they can gradually unfold their Higher Self.  Yoga also considers alcohol to have an adverse effect on the central nervous system, and in particular the brain. The integrity of the central nervous system is considered very important by the yogis, since one of the goals of yoga is to improve the health of this system, and much of the progress of yoga is achieved via this vital communication system.
Modern science agrees with yoga on this point, since alcohol is known to first stimulate and then shortly afterwards depress the central nervous system.
Alcohol also causes poor sleep. Alcohol cannot compare with the effects of yoga. Yoga produces a natural stimulation without the depressing after-effect. Yoga also produces a general feeling of elation. The increase in life force produced by practicing yoga cannot be duplicated by drugs." (Yoga's View of Nutrition, from Holisticonline.com)

Chick Chalet

Once upon an early March, Gabrielle invited two friends to stay the weekend at her ski chalet.  She was tired from a Wall Street week, yet eagerly anticipating teaching ski lessons and hanging out at night with her girlfriends. 

Gabrielle took the bus to the mountain on Thursday.  She was brusquely greeted by deep and crunchy snow covering the path to the front door.  Once inside, she discovered Jack passed out on the couch with her comforter.  The gall!  Something smelled funny.  "Jack, wake up! My friends are visiting this weekend!  It reeks in here! Can you go air out that comforter?"  Gabrielle busily set about tidying the chalet from a week of male fallout. 

Finally, at 7:15 Anaya arrived with her rolly carry-on bag, pillow and stuffed panda bear.  Gabrielle fielded a series of cell phone calls with questions like, "After I turn into the entrance and go over the bridge what stop sign is the one?"  "OK, now I'm in front of a sign that reads, Lodging and Parking.  Which road is it?"  "Wait, you just saw my headlights?  No, I don't see a black SUV."  Eventually Anaya parked in front of the black SUV.  To her dismay, she realized rolling luggage was an uninformed choice.  Jack and Brennan were leaving with their stuff when Anaya stepped into a giant mound of snow in an attempt to hoist her bag.  Jack: "Whatever you do, don't step off of the path, OK?"  Anaya: "What path? I can't even see."  Jack: "Gabrielle, can you come help her?"  Gabrielle: "Yes, yes, I'm coming! Hi doll!!"  Anaya: "So I see why you chose a duffle bag."  Jack: "Yeah. Umm... have fun, bye." 

Upon entering the chalet, Gabrielle showed Anaya a cozy little room with a skylight and a painting of "Paris By Night".  Anaya liked the room, but then noticed another one with a framed tapestry of a knight on the door.  That room had serious appeal.  Anaya asked if she could bunk there.  Gabrielle: "That's Brennan's room.  He doesn't like anyone else to take it."  Anaya: "That's OK.  He'll never know.  I'll put everything exactly in the spot where it was when I leave."  Gabrielle: "OK! You're brave! Go for it!"  Thursday night was catch-up time for the girls, and Gabrielle showed Anaya her photos from Sri Lanka, Vietnam and Thailand.  Anaya was moved by the beautiful photos of lotus flowers, long boats, reclining Buddhas and wat temples.  She had heard stories of Gabrielle's time volunteering in two orphanages, but the photos of the children cemented these stories in her heart.  After some homemade pasta, tea and hot chocolate, it was bedtime. 

Friday morning, this was the view from Brennan's window. 

Anaya asked a question to no one in particular: "Does Superman live here?" Gabrielle was out the door with her gear before Anaya could make coffee.  Anaya wandered around in her pajamas, started a fire and drank some mochachino.  She climbed up to the loft and completed a transcription for her book.  Before she knew it, the day was done and Gabrielle showed up at the chalet with Nathan and some beers.  After one beer, Anaya went out for candles and more firewood.  Gabrielle was ready for dinner at 7:00, so two old friends went out in Tannersville to feast on champagne, cheese fondue and rotisserie chicken.

Young boys stalked their table repeatedly shouting, "stinky cheese! stinky cheese!"  Anaya said, "This is my future, Gabrielle.  I should miss my boys right now but I don't."  After bedtime tea by the fireside, Gabrielle and Anaya retired to their rooms in anticipation of another fun day with a new guest.

Adina arrived right after lunch.  To Anaya's surpise, she had a broken hand!  No skiing for Adina.  Nonetheless, a new friendship was forged and the two went up the mountain to meet Gabrielle for apres-ski.  Even though Anaya's Alma Mater lost a bastketball game to the dreaded Jayhawks, she was consoled by a free Goose and Juice from a sympathetic bartender.  A seat next to this fire pit dissipated her bad mood.

Because of texting mishaps, Gabrielle could never find her girlfriends when lessons were over.  Adina and and Anaya tried another bar, then left to escape Wayne.  In spite of his good intentions, Wayne's uninvited physical contact and repeated invitations for dinner and cocktails at his house were creepy. 

Gabrielle was waiting back at the chalet when her skeeved friends showed up.  Adina: "What should we do now?" Anaya: "Let's go out!" Gabrielle: "Ugh! My legs are so tired.  I need to change out of these clothes and relax a bit." Anaya: "Shall we order in and then go out later?" Unanimous: "Yeah."  The order was placed, picked up and brought back.  To everyone's surprise, the Sesame Chicken was identical to the General Tso's other than the sesame seeds sprinkled on top.  Adina: "Why would they do that?  Do they think we're complete idiots?"  The Lemon Chicken went over a bit better.  Still, the food didn't really sit right with anyone.  A beer didn't help.  Tea didn't help much either.  The fire felt nice.  No one really wanted to go out anymore.  Adina had brought up a Netflix DVD, Bend It Like Beckham.  The group decision was to watch this film together.  There was one problem.  The DVD player was disconnected from the television since the male ski instructors had been using their Wii and another playstation during the week.  Adina and Gabrielle attempted to rectify the problem with little success.  Gabrielle: "This is what men are supposed to do!" Anaya: "I'm sure I could figure it out if that was my motivation, but I just don't want to get up."  Adina: "If I had a flashlight I could see which color of cord plugs into this hole."  Anaya: "If this is what men are for, what are we supposed to do?"  Adina: "Look good! We show up and look good.  That's why the men have to pay for the dates.  We have to pay for yoga and pilates classes, highlights, facials, manicures...by the time we're ready for a date we've already spent $500 to look like that.  That's why they pay."  Gabrielle: "Well, screw this.  Let's just watch TV."  Adina: "Oh good, Boston Legal's on!" Gabrielle: "I hate that show.  There are already so many bad stereotypes about lawyers."  Anaya: "But they're all true! That's why I avoid law firms." 

After a few minutes of Boston Legal, Anaya got restless, jumped up and walked away with purpose.  She indavertently ran into a wall, bruising her hip.  "Oww!!"  Gabrielle: "Are you OK? What's wrong with you all of a sudden?"  Anaya: "Well, I just thought we were going to do something.  You know, I came up here, arranged for babysitting, left my husband with my kids all weekend and now we are just sitting around watching Boston Legal! This is a little disappointing to me."  Gabrielle: "Well, thanks for making me feel like shit."  Anaya: "That wasn't my intention.  I'm just annoyed."  At that comment, Gabrielle, exhausted from a day of teaching four year olds how to to ski, retreated to her room making sure to drop off Anaya's broken hairbrush on her way.  For some reason, Adina and Gabrielle both forgot their hairbrushes so everyone shared Anaya's.  As Murphy's law would dictate, the handle fell off the brush on Friday morning.  Somehow no one had a bad hair day and the broken brush sufficed.  It's hard to ruin pretty hair. 

Adina wasn't tired and still planned to watch a movie; any movie.  As it happened, We Were Soldiers was airing on a major network.  Anaya settled onto the couch to watch with her.  Following the scenes of soldiers' wives receiving death announcements via telegrams, a tearful Anaya went to bed.  Adina was a trooper and watched to the end.

Sunday got off to a great start.  Gabrielle got front door pick-up service from her fellow instructors.  Adina and Anaya slept in a little.  Anaya surprised Adina with homemade pancakes and coffee.  After a leisurely morning chat, the two cleaned up the house for Gabrielle and the guys.  Then they went for a drive to refresh some supplies.  There were no hairbrushes to be found.  This was of no consequence.  Up the mountain they went, in search of sun, food and company.  None of these were in short supply. 

The mountain was full of happy skiers coming off the slopes and chilling on the deck.  Saranac and Coors Light were on tap.  Pizza and burgers were available.  While waiting for Gabrielle, the women enjoyed beer and pizza and met some fun characters.  Eventually they moved inside and found Gabrielle at the bar with some other people.  Doc, the Vietnam War Vet with piercing blue eyes and a passion for the Catskills; Mark, the hypnotist with a winning personality and esoteric insight; Glen, the MD and former NYPD cop with an adorable five year old daughter.  It was a fun crowd, so much so that Anaya lost track of time and forgot to leave on schedule for her boys' bedtime.  When they looked at their watches, Adina and Gabrielle realized they had missed the bus. 

A departure plan was devised.  Anaya would drive them all back and get them on the 9:46 to Grand Central from Tarrytown.  Dinner?  A quck drive-thru at the McDonald's in Saugerties.  Adina and Gabrielle went for the Big Macs but Anaya can only eat the Quarter Pounders.  Keeping a steady speed of 80 miles per hour and listening to Michael Jackson, OMD, and Country music, the women just made it to Tarrytown in time.  Gabrielle sat in a child safety seat the entire drive.  Upon arrival at the train station, she was worried about leaving trash in the car.  Adina: "Come on! I see the train! We still have to cross the platform!" Anaya: "Go now!! Screw the trash, I'll take care of it! Run!!"  They made it on as the doors were closing.  Anaya headed straight to Stop and Shop to buy milk and juice for her little boys.  The store had just closed.  Along with another man trying to buy Pepto-Bismol for his wife, Anaya begged the employees to open the doors.  At long last, the good people of Stop and Shop caved and let them in.  Milk and juice were purchased.  Anaya made it home and kissed two sleeping boys in their beds.  One man who was wide awake got some kisses, too.  A great finish to a perfect Catskills weekend!