Guided Release Technique: Ball of Yarn

This is a brief meditation you can do during your savasana (resting pose after postural yoga practice), or simply lying in bed. 

~

Close your eyes. Connect within your body, feeling the sensations of your in-breath and your out-breath. Notice the feeling of the breath in your rib cage, in your abdomen, filling you up as you inhale and clearing you out as you exhale. Notice the sensation of the air touching your skin. Feel the back of your body resting on your mat. Notice the darkness behind your eyelids, or any colors you see there. Tune into any sounds you hear around you. Develop a keen awareness of your entire experience, and yourself as the experiencer. 

Then, allow your awareness to go deeper within you. Release all effort to notice or control your experience. Be at rest. Inhale fully and deeply, holding your breath at the top. Exhale through your mouth. Let go...

Once you've rested like this a few moments, begin to scan your inner awareness throughout your body, beginning at the top of your head and working your way down to your toes. With this relaxed, accepting awareness, let yourself feel both physical and emotional sensations. 

Are there feelings, memories, sensations or experiences at the physical, mental or spiritual level which you want to release? 

Locate and name everything you'd like to release. Find where it resides in your mind and body. Perhaps there is one thing, perhaps there are more than one. You're going to thread them out of your system like strings of yarn. Imagine in your mind's eye that you are pulling out individual strings of yarn, for everything you want to release. See the colors. Feel the textures. Hold the strings in your hand, one by one, and begin to roll them together into a ball of yarn. 

Give yourself time to do this, to feel and see your ball of yarn, making sure it is complete. And then, imagine that next to you is a round plastic shell that opens like a plastic egg. Take off the top and and you will see that your ball of yarn fits neatly inside. Place your ball of yarn inside the shell and close it up. Place the shell on top of your belly, letting it rest there. Feel it's weight. 

Keeping your attention on your ball of yarn in the shell, with each exhalation, the ball will float up higher and higher above your belly, above your body. You will keep resting and breathing, and your ball of yarn will keep floating further and further away from you, until you can no longer feel it or see it. It will be absorbed into the atmosphere, where it will unravel and dissipate. 

When you are ready to get up again, take your time. Let your breath gradually deepen. Move your feet and hands slowly. Draw your knees into your chest and roll over onto your side to sit up. 

May you be free of all unnecessary burdens, and may your experience always be colorful. 

Namaste. 

Saucha: Clean up, Tidy up and Lighten up!

Look around this summer to see what your friends are reading--chances are you'll see this book on a beach or lawn chair: The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing by Marie Kondo. It's a New York Times bestseller. I've been seeing it and hearing a lot about it!

Though I'm not reading the book myself, I did spend a portion of this past weekend decluttering my home with my husband. We prepared 8 large moving boxes of adult and children's clothing and shoes along with a few useful appliances to be picked up today by a charitable Veterans organization. We normally donate to Goodwill, decluttering in little spurts a few times per year, but yesterday was much more thorough! My Virgo husband made it easier by devising a system and a schedule for us. We still have more work to do on our basement and garage, but we already feel much freer and lighter. My closet is empty of scary secrets!

Simplifying my life, making space and creating structure are all parts of my yoga practice. In yoga philosophy, there are five recommended personal observances for cultivating happiness and avoiding suffering. These are called the niyama. The first niyama is saucha, which means inner and outer cleanliness or purity. A home where saucha is faithfully observed will be orderly, clean, simple and light. Taking inventory, tidying up and simplifying our home brings more peace, ease and clarity to our life. It helps us to develop a sattvic, balanced energy, within and without. 

Once saucha is applied to any area of your life, it really does feel magical! Pulling all of the old clothes out of my closet, items from another era of my life (suits from 10 years ago when I worked as a lawyer) made me feel a little queasy, but looking at my closet now, I feel refreshed and liberated! 

How can we apply saucha in our postural yoga practice, in public spaces or at home? We can start with the basics by keeping mats and props clean, respecting others' practice space, putting our blankets, blocks and straps away in an orderly fashion; it's pretty straightforward, like preschoolers tidying their books and toys. Yet sometimes we forget! 

Finally, how does saucha show up as we move through our postures? We can find it in clean lines, careful alignment, cleansing breaths and orderly transitions. We can also experiment with decluttering our foundations, simplifiying, working with the idea that less is more (perhaps a smaller base, like standing on the balls of our feet) and seeing what that opens up. 

Try setting saucha as your intention the next time you practice, or if you teach, write a sequence around it. You may discover some long-lost essentials hiding under the clutter!

Say It Like You Mean It

Let your yes mean yes and your no mean no. Anything other than this comes from the evil one. -Matthew 5:37, Common English Bible.

For many years I have wanted to grasp the precise meaning of this teaching. Yesterday the meaning came to me after giving a short talk on boundaries and authenticity. I "teach" to learn. Anything I am teaching is an exploration of what I am trying to learn.

Recently Kino Macgregor posted a brief lesson about Susima, a Sanskrit word for solid boundaries. An essential part of self-actualization is learning to walk the balance beam between extremes, finding the equilibrium of our inner authority so we don't over-extend ourselves on the one hand, or shy away from opportunities to grow and serve on the other hand. Kino wrote about people who always say yes, and others who always say no. Some of us are extreme people-pleasers and others are extreme skeptics, averse to any risk. Still others are balanced in their relationships and commitments. I have traditionally fallen into the "always yes" camp, and am learning the hard way that my "yes" really needs to mean "yes!" My best intentions fall apart when my "yes" is inauthentic.

How do we know which is right in any given moment, "yes," or "no?" Yesterday in class when we posed this question for discussion, a woman named Karen said it has to do with our inner authority--before giving an authentic answer, we have to go within to feel our way forward. We structured the remainder of our class around feeling our way through our yoga practice, taking the modifications that were right for us individually and connecting to our inner authority on our yoga mat. I loved watching the great variation in poses as people felt free to explore and do what felt to good them, sometimes saying "no" to a pose I offered, other times responding with an emphatic "yes," going deeper than usual in a particular pose.

At the end of class we drew a circle in our mind's eye around our mat, creating a mental and physical safe space to go within and rest in our seat of inner authority. Knowing, remembering what it feels like to be connected within, we're better able to create healthy boundaries in our daily life; like saying "yes" to helping a friend move, truly intending to extend ourselves in that effort, or saying "no" to a colleague when asked to replace someone on a project that's not a good fit for our talents or interests. You can think of your own real life examples. Just yesterday I said "yes" without thinking when a prospective client asked to book a next day private session, glossing right over my own doctor's appointment. This left me with a decision, do I cancel my own health maintenance appointment to keep a hastily made commitment? That's not a good place to be. My yes did not come from a place of inner authority, but from an autopilot program running in my mind. A no in that instance would have better served me and my client as well. Sometimes meaning what we say is simply a matter of slowing down enough to respond authentically.

As we learn to pay attention to our inner signals, like how we feel in our bodies and emotions when asked to do something, we respond with authority and presence, meaning what we say and saying what we mean.

Authenticity on and off our yoga mat, in our home, workplace and community, is the fruit of deep inner cultivation. The avoidance of broken and empty promises, missed opportunities and failed commitments is possible when we are internally connected, living from a firm foundation of inner authority.

Celebrate Your Independence

This week in the US we will celebrate our July 4th holiday, a commemoration of our nation's independence from a controlling Colonial power. We will barbecue, display our flags and wear red, white and blue. This holiday brings a word to mind, lauded and proclaimed in patriotic songs: Freedom. Let freedom ring! Freedom is an intrinsic American value.

Independence is synonymous with freedom. Independence from what?

I want to live and die free. Yet like most of us, I often find myself bogged down or entangled. Many of us feel beholden to a job, an employer, even a family. We all have obligations. Our movements cannot always be free; or can they?

Even if we can't always go exactly where we want or grow money trees in our backyards, we are able to free ourselves internally. We can work towards freeing our minds and emotions. Yoga is a practice I use to emancipate myself from inner slavery, like Bob Marley sang in Redemption Song.

There are three Sanskrit words I associate with freedom, even though many more exist. The three words I think of are moksha, vairagya and kaivalya. We can find these words in the Yoga Sutras and the Bhagavad Gita. 

Moksha describes liberation in the truest and deepest sense, a spiritual and mental freedom releasing us from the cycle of death and rebirth that Hindus believe in. In more Western terms, we can think of moksha as a final liberation from the consequences of our actions and from the heaviness of our burden of existence. Christians use the term "salvation" to describe this kind of freedom.

Vairagya is the freedom from all worldly desires, a state of non-attachment to the fruits of our actions. Sutra 1.12 of Patanjali's Yoga Sutras, abhyasa-vairagyabhyam tan nirodhah says that we can free our minds through dedicated action without attachment to outcomes or results. A simpler translation is practice or work without attachment. This means doing our duty, giving our best effort, yet releasing expectations. In the Bhagavad Gita, Lord Krishna teaches Arjuna to work without attachment. In Chapter 3, he says, "by working without attachment, one attains the Supreme."

Kaivalya means real independence, and is translated as "isolation," but it does not mean loneliness. Rather, kaivalya is a state of freedom from entanglements, wordly desires and egoism. A person who achieves kaivalya is called a Kevalin, someone who knows how to live in the world without being enslaved to it, just as Jesus Christ talked about being in the world, but not of it.

The simplest formula I can think of to apply these concepts to my life is living life to the fullest without clinging to expectations. Show up, and expect nothing.

This path to inner emancipation applies to both active and passive pursuits. It is easier to see how it applies to your work or your yoga practice. Do your best and let that be your reward; don't expect perfection or applause; don't be greedy; don't be a show-off; instead give without an expectation to receive; apply effort, then surrender. Do what you do for the sake of doing it, no matter what it is. The quality of being you bring to your work is more important than the reward of the work itself. Any other type of work is a form of enslavement. Even our yoga practice can enslave us if we are attached to the results.

What about the times when we rest, when we play, when we seek distraction and entertainment? We can also be freer and happier in these moments when we are able to let go of expectations. One example is going to see a film. Do you ever go to a movie without knowing anything about it? Can you simply watch a film and let it be what it is, enjoying it without expecting it to elicit particular emotions or inform you in a particular way? Sometimes I go see a movie purposefully ignoring all descriptions and reviews beforehand, so it's a like an unknown gift for me to open. I enjoy it more when there are no expectations.

Our expectations, attachments and entanglements are a trap. We give away our freedom, our peace, our joy and our power when we depend on an outcome.

Today, July 4th, every day, celebrate your own Independence Day.

The Inner Sanctum

Within a church or temple, the inner sanctum is a private, sacred and secret place. It is safe and protected.

He that dwelleth in the secret place of the Most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty
-Psalm 91:1, King James Version. Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty -New International Version.

Let the yogi engage himself in yoga, remaining in a secret place by himself, with thought and self subdued, free from hope and greed.  In a pure place, established on a fixed seat of his own, neither very much raised or very low…he should restrain his mind and concentrate it on Me, and sit down engaged in devotion, regarding Me as his final goal -Bhagavad Gita, Chapter 6.

Teachers of spiritual traditions love metaphor as a teaching tool, and many describe the human body as a temple (eg. 1 Corinthians 6:19-20, Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit?).

Yoga is both a physical and a spiritual tradition. The breath work, physical postures and meditation in yoga lead us deep into our inner sanctum. In Patanjali's Yoga Sutras, the body is described as an obstacle to be transcended, but in Tantra Yoga, the body is seen as a holy vessel. The well-known Anusara yoga teacher, Christina Sell, authored the book My Body is a Temple: Yoga as a Path to Wholeness as a guide to help people reach their inner shrine through yoga practice.

My yoga practice leads me within, to a secret place where I am safe, at rest and divinely connected.

Even in a group class, practicing collectively, we are traveling on this individual journey to the inner sanctum. The niyama, one half of the ethical teachings of yoga, is a Sanskrit word that translates as "inner culture," in English. Svadhyaya is one of the five niyama, and it means study of the scriptures and of the self. The literal translation of svadhyaya is "one's own reading."

In our practice today, may we turn our attention within and find our inner sanctum, allowing our practice to lead us to that secret resting place where nothing can perturb us, the place where the soul abides.

The Jewel of the Moment

How's this for a subversive statement?
Life is not made up of milestones, but of moments. -Rose Kennedy

So often we define our life in terms of accomplishments or failures, lists on a resume, photos in an album...or when a life is over, the contents of an obituary. We reach into the past or future for the contents of our life, yet this is not living. Living is sensing, breathing, giving and receiving, showing up in the here and now.

Each journey consists of many steps, a series of discrete moments. If we're not careful, we can't see the trees for the forest. This is why we turn to practices like mindfulness and yoga, to connect to the fullness, peace and joy we find in the present moment. The quality and very essence of a life is found in the moment. This is the place where the real You and Me reside.

Each moment, each breath, each meal, each conversation, each discrete posture in yoga, all are one-of-a-kind jewels. Each has a different hue, texture and feel. Can you hold all the jewels in your hand? Can you collect them and wear them like a prize around your neck, or a crown on your head? No. You can only hold one jewel at a time in your palm. It is good to dream and plan and indulge in precious memories, but when we cling to the promise of a future reward, agonize over past failures or imagine away the gift of the moment, we're losing our treasure to jewel thieves.

You don't have to dig deep to find a gem. You just have to open your eyes and notice it.

I experienced a vivid example of this truth this morning, when I had this post written and lost all of the text. For some reason, I really like hanging onto the products of any work I do, unless it's cooking, and then I just want to eat it. I don't agonize about preserving a pie for as long as possible, defining my happiness by it. I just eat it, enjoy it, then forget about it. I wish I could do this with other parts of my life. I hang onto things. We all do. When I got up and walked away from my laptop and left my house, I accompanied my son on a field trip to a farm to study vernal pools. That experience was one jewel I held for a short time. I'm not going to dig with greedy fingers and nails to pull it out of the ground and have it set into a ring. It's gone. Now here I sit, enjoying writing. There is always enough in each moment. I am always enough.

I don't want to miss the essence of my well-lived life trying to piece together a collection of milestones, a box of clunky rocks. No one does. We want the real gems. They're ours for the taking.

“My mind then wandered. I thought of this: I thought of how every day each of us experiences a few little moments that have just a bit more resonance than other moments—we hear a word that sticks in our mind—or maybe we have a small experience that pulls us out of ourselves, if only briefly—we share a hotel elevator with a bride in her veils, say, or a stranger gives us a piece of bread to feed to the mallard ducks in the lagoon; a small child starts a conversation with us in a Dairy Queen—or we have an episode like the one I had with the M&M cars back at the Husky station.

And if we were to collect these small moments in a notebook and save them over a period of months we would see certain trends emerge from our collection—certain voices would emerge that have been trying to speak through us. We would realize that we have been having another life altogether; one we didn’t even know was going on inside us. And maybe this other life is more important than the one we think of as being real—this clunky day-to-day world of furniture and noise and metal. So just maybe it is these small silent moments which are the true story-making events of our lives.”
― Douglas Coupland, Life After God

Heal Your Heart

Just as the physical heart pumps life sustaining blood throughout the body, the spiritual heart takes love in and gives love out. When our heart is unhealthy, we are cut off from giving and receiving blessings. A hardened heart is a sickness leading to decay and death.

Learn to receive with a soft heart. "God is seated in the hearts of all," Bhagavad Gita 10:20. "Verily in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest," Koran 13:28. "And I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh," Ezekiel 36:26.

***

    Last night, as I was sleeping,
I dreamt — marvelous error!–
that a spring was breaking
out in my heart.
I said: Along which secret aqueduct,
Oh water, are you coming to me,
water of a new life
that I have never drunk?

      Last night, as I was sleeping,
I dreamt — marvelous error!–
that I had a beehive
here inside my heart.
And the golden bees
were making white combs
and sweet honey
from my old failures.

      Last night, as I was sleeping,
I dreamt — marvelous error!–
that a fiery sun was giving
light inside my heart.
It was fiery because I felt
warmth as from a hearth,
and sun because it gave light
and brought tears to my eyes.

      Last night, as I slept,
I dreamt — marvelous error!–
that it was God I had
here inside my heart.

Last Night as I was sleeping, Antonio Machado, translation by Robert Bly.