Today was new puppy day! Basil, our Alusky (Siberian Husky/Malamute mix) is home with us, at last. She seemed at ease right away, playing, being very affectionate, peeing outside, adjusting to a collar and leash and sleeping. Can I just say: dogs are very grounding creatures! I knew that Basil would be a very grounding, stabilizing influence for me, but feeling her presence in my home and welcoming that experience exceeded my expectations.
This is day 4 of my Sadhana, practicing the "inner conflict resolver reflex" (a breathing exercise that I am finding mostly excruciating) and going cold turkey on my compulsions. Oddly enough, blogging has not been a compulsion so I am allowing it and enjoying it. I have been true to giving up Facebook and letting my husband post my blog links. It feels strange not having the app on my Iphone. I don't really use Twitter, but I have that app on my phone so I admit that I have checked it a few times, just to read some articles in the bathroom (TMI). But it hasn't gotten compulsive.
I am so glad that I finally listened to my inner guidance telling me to pay attention to my behaviors and drop my compulsions. I fully admit that I was using my compulsions to escape anxiety. Momentary resistance to what is, non-acceptance of the experience of the present moment, and a pressing desire to perform some action that brings relief; that is anxiety, more or less. So in those instances, I was either, a) checking Facebook, b) checking e-mail, or c) smoking a cigarette three times a day, as some sort of purposefully toxic OCD ritual.
Something else I was doing to escape anxiety, which was rising to the level of compulsion, was what I call "confessing;" divulging details of my innermost thoughts, memories and internal conflicts to people I considered, for whatever reason, to be in some position of authority. When I was able to step back and look at what I was doing, I wondered why I don't give myself more credit. Why would I feel the need for someone else to opine on my thoughts? 1. Thoughts are thoughts, and nothing more. (I am not my thoughts). 2. Unless I can add something beneficial by sharing it with others, my internal world is mine alone, just for me.
Where does blogging fit in? This is the type of sharing that could somehow benefit someone else. Maybe someone reading this suffers from anxiety. Maybe she also has some persistent habits. My honesty may encourage her somehow.
Now I am going back to cuddling with my new puppy. With her, I have to be in the moment, just as I do with my children. And training her will be a grounding experience for me. According to Native American spirituality, the animals in our lives do not come to us by accident. They are some of our greatest teachers. I have a pretty good idea what some of my first lessons are going to be.
This is day 4 of my Sadhana, practicing the "inner conflict resolver reflex" (a breathing exercise that I am finding mostly excruciating) and going cold turkey on my compulsions. Oddly enough, blogging has not been a compulsion so I am allowing it and enjoying it. I have been true to giving up Facebook and letting my husband post my blog links. It feels strange not having the app on my Iphone. I don't really use Twitter, but I have that app on my phone so I admit that I have checked it a few times, just to read some articles in the bathroom (TMI). But it hasn't gotten compulsive.
I am so glad that I finally listened to my inner guidance telling me to pay attention to my behaviors and drop my compulsions. I fully admit that I was using my compulsions to escape anxiety. Momentary resistance to what is, non-acceptance of the experience of the present moment, and a pressing desire to perform some action that brings relief; that is anxiety, more or less. So in those instances, I was either, a) checking Facebook, b) checking e-mail, or c) smoking a cigarette three times a day, as some sort of purposefully toxic OCD ritual.
Something else I was doing to escape anxiety, which was rising to the level of compulsion, was what I call "confessing;" divulging details of my innermost thoughts, memories and internal conflicts to people I considered, for whatever reason, to be in some position of authority. When I was able to step back and look at what I was doing, I wondered why I don't give myself more credit. Why would I feel the need for someone else to opine on my thoughts? 1. Thoughts are thoughts, and nothing more. (I am not my thoughts). 2. Unless I can add something beneficial by sharing it with others, my internal world is mine alone, just for me.
Where does blogging fit in? This is the type of sharing that could somehow benefit someone else. Maybe someone reading this suffers from anxiety. Maybe she also has some persistent habits. My honesty may encourage her somehow.
Now I am going back to cuddling with my new puppy. With her, I have to be in the moment, just as I do with my children. And training her will be a grounding experience for me. According to Native American spirituality, the animals in our lives do not come to us by accident. They are some of our greatest teachers. I have a pretty good idea what some of my first lessons are going to be.
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